AS PER USUAL, Paul Bradyโs future is in his hands. But for once, uncharacteristically, heโs unsure about his next move.
The worldโs greatest handball player is in limbo at the moment, you see.
Heโs wrestling with his thoughts. Does he put his legacy on the line by making one final push, in the hope of bowing out as a champion? Or does he call time on the most decorated career in the history of handball and decide heโs happy with his lot?
Right now, the Cavan man still doesnโt know what to do.
He may have won a record five successive menโs Open World Championship crowns (2003-2015), 10 Irish National titles and 10 US National titles but thereโs a part of Brady that still wants more.
Heโs hurting at the moment. A tie-break loss to up-and-coming Mallow handballer Killian Carroll at the US Nationals in June cut him deep and made him question whether his time was finally up.
He is adamant that his career at world level is over, ruling out a tilt at a sixth successive world crown in Alaska in 2018.
But a reflective Brady, who turned 37 fewer than three weeks ago, is slowly coming around to the idea of attempting to win a record-equalling 11th title at the US Nationals next year and possibly another in 2018.
โIโm having a dilemma,โ Brady tells The42.
โI had a loss in June that hurt me pretty badly. It was just a one-point loss. And the main reason that I continue to play is just that US Nationals tournament.
โIt was so close. I actually outscored my opponent, it was just that he got the main points. I served for the match a few times.
I suppose I feel like I want to take a break and Iโm kind of in the process of that but I wonder that at this stage if I do take a break, will I come back?
โItโs a bit haunting because Iโve seen players come back, even in other sports, and ruin whatever legacy they might have had by taking a beating.
โEarlier on in the summer I was leaning towards leaving it and as time has gone on and I suppose the rawness of the defeat isnโt as bad, Iโm giving staying on more thought.โ
The primary school teacher had been having doubts about his future in the game he loves for quite a while; a 25-year itch if you will.
Heโs come a long way since being introduced to the sport as a 12-year-old by Fr John Gilhooly, a teacher in St Patrickโs College, Cavan.
Juggling the travel on the professional circuit, his day job and a masters degree in sports and exercise psychology was starting to take its toll.
Over-tired and over-committed, he found himself questioning his motivation for the first time in a long time while on a flight to Salt Lake City in May.
โThe main thing is I just wasnโt enjoying it at the end. It was just getting too hectic, the travel and I was doing a masters, I was doing a bit of teaching too.
On that flight in May I was thinking I donโt actually like this sport particularly much at this point in time.
Brady knows his next decision is a big one and one that he canโt afford to rush. But on the other hand, the clock is ticking on his elite career.
โI canโt take a long break or obviously I wouldnโt go back. Itโs a precarious position Iโm in at the minute.
โIf I leave it too long itโs gone from me, and if I go back too quickly Iโll just jack it in altogether.
โIโm just reflecting at the minute, I havenโt had a critical stage like this in a long, long time.โ
Brady lost to Boston-based Carroll for the first time in May, at the Players Championship in Portland, Oregon.
In doing so, the Corkonian, who Brady defeated to win his fifth world crown in Calgary last year, became just the third player to beat the Cavan man in 11 years.
At 23, Carroll is 14 years Bradyโs junior and that is something which bears weight.
Brady had felt the next wave of talent nipping at his heels and now he finds himself on the back-foot. But the champion in him is desperate to fight back and prove he is sill the standard-bearer for the game.
With his masters now out of the way Brady feels he could perhaps re-focus some extra energy on the game that has seen him travel the country and the world representing Cavan and Ireland.
โPart of you will always feel, โOK, do I want to end on a loss or do I want to go back and play that guy again?โ.
โInstead of being the hunted, Iโm now the hunter which alleviates some of the pressure.
โIโd say some of that pressure has been there for about 12 years, if not maybe 15 years, where you were the one everyone hunted.
Thereโs some part of me that finds that challenge attractive. Also to come back from defeat is a challenge as well.
โAs the rawness of the defeat is easing itโs becoming that bit more enticing but itโs just not enticing enough yet at this stage. But Iโm hoping that maybe further down the line that will change.โ
September was a busy month for Brady; he submitted his thesis to UUJ on the stressors in GAA inter-county management before taking up a full-time contract in a learning support role in a Cavan town primary school.
As the dust settles, he finds himself in a period of deep reflection but he insists he wonโt consider sitting back and admiring his trophy cabinet until his mind is made up on his next move.
You donโt need a masters in sports psychology to know heโs found himself between a rock and a hard place.
He openly weighs up the pros and cons of a return to the circuit, rambling from one to the other, itโs a constant mental tussle.
A tough call looms, but with his track record youโd back him to make the right decision, time and time again.
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Cmon Shane .
Sky sports
Can we please know what par the hole is before he hits his first shot.
Come on Dustin Johnson and do it for the golf purists.
Lowry bandwagon will be back again soon. In the meantime break out the Union Jack and follow McIlroy in the Olympics.
But the trolling bandwagon will roll on, in its self-pitying lonely journey through the dirty slums of its pathetic existence crying out for the attention it never got from Mommy.
And so it came to pass that John realised he had no friends and that trying to be controversial did not make him cool
I dont follow golfโฆโฆbut I know its serious when the42 has a live blog of a golf event.Hope he comes home as a champion!
Same here Irin..it would be a โYugeโ achievement.
Live blog is the best way to watch golf
Cmon Shane. We need a win this weekend!!
Heโs not representing his country, Not the same.
Most reds ever.
I bet there was some amount of candles lit in Clara Church at this mornings mass.
Even more rosery beads sold in the market this morning
Come on lowry kiiiiiiidddd!!
This is an absolute outrage from the USGA!! Iโm all for Lowry to win, but I certainly wouldnโt begrudge Johnson a first major either but heโs being treated very unfairly here in my eyes.
Yeah, lousy by the USGA, they should do the right thing and disqualify him! Come on Shane!!
I think itโs unfair on all the players considering they have all allegedly been told whatโs happening. Itโs farcical at the moment though. Really stupid decision making by the USGA.
Unbelievable!
Monday lotto?!
Unbelievable!
John Hayes I really hope you get to eat humble pie
Donโt worry-you can get off the bandwagon at the next stop with all the rest.
John, you are a pathetic human being but I presume you post these comments because you derive pleasure from people thinking of you as pathetic. Congrats chief
Pity 3 x3 putts in a row Shane doesnโt deserve to win it now,had a four shot lead and couldnโt hold it,not good enough this week to win a major,maybe another time.
Its getting painful to watch now. Hope he can finish outright 2nd
What an athlete!!!!
Shane finishing off a typical weekend for Irish sports by choking when it matters
Im going to bed cant take anymore dreams dashed,
Hold onโฆ.Hang on a mo
This ainโt over yet by a long shotโฆโฆโฆโฆ
Needs to take the initiative here Shane.
Waiting for the pack to slip up is not a good tactic.
Seize the day.
So is DJ on -5 or -4? They should make a ruling now, nobody knows what score the leader is on, itโs crazy!!
Not looking good now with that bogey on 10
and will paddy power pay out if he does?
Poor front 9 for Shane not helped by his partner who is having a mare,hopefully he can regroup.
Johnsonโs partner Westwood had as big a mare.
Lowry all too often struggles on the last day, heโs just too out of shape and is at a clear disadvantage because of it.
Achieved far more than you ever will. And has a hell of a lot more friends Iโm sure.
You can see the pressure on Shaneโs face in those last couple of shots!
Poor show at the 14th there.
This is stupid make a decision already! Canโt see a penalty but man up.
Settle
Gโwan Shaneo
Delighted for Dustin Johnsonโฆ. After all heโs been through over the years, I donโt think thereโs a soul on earth who would deny him a major!
Bar Jason Dufner of course after Johnson ride his wife
Top European,joint second, toughest course you could play be proud you have to lose one to win won .
Johnson playing at a snails pace
FFS Shane. โฆโฆwhat are you doing man
Bottle job.
Bottle job is a kind way of putting it.
the irish rugby team bottled it against South Africa and now shane Lowry is doing the same.
Heโs thrown in the towel all right.
No courage.
Ireland did not โbottleโ it. They were beaten by a much better and stronger bench and at a venue where only two teams have ever been South Africa. Nowhere do Ireland play rugby at nearly 6000ft on a regular basis. 7 of the South Africans play there every week.
Shane did not choke today. He missed a few long puts which left awkward 6/7/8 footers for par.
I think we need to get beyond this โchokeโ and โbottleโ mentality here. Itโs self-perpetuating.
Canโt find the Shane Lowry jersey anywhere online.
Back from weekend away,planned to celebrate Ireland test win over SA,didnโt happen,hoping for a draw against Belguim ,didnt happen,come on Shane !!!!pleeease
Unfortunately Shane Bottled it..
Heโs still in it. My bet a tie with a play off.
Kinda ridiculous that they still havenโt made a ruling on the penalty stroke for Johnson.
Shane Lowry and others have been informed that he is facing a possible penalty so thatโs bound to colour their psychology on the run in.
Best thing Shane can do now is ignore that โRumourโ and play the tournament according to the official leaderboard.
Ireland vs. Belgium in football, vs. South Africa in rugby, and vs. the ROTW in one of the majors in golf, what a horribly disappointing weekend of sport for us, especially the latter two where we blew what should have been unassailable leads.
Short of getting in the car Nd driving to Clara where can I watch it without sky sports!?
Download Mobdro off internet onto your android phone or tablet and watch away
Bandwagon running rough?
Keep it going Shane