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The 7 Alex Ferguson retirement jokes you'll be sick of by the end of today

Why do people keep telling us the same unfunny jokes?

LIKE ANY MAJOR story, news of Alex Ferguson’s retirement has brought out the worst in every wannabe comedian, rehashing the same set of jokes in desperate attempt to seem funny.

Here are seven that need to stop already. If anyone in the pub tells you one of these tonight, excommunicate them from your group of friends immediately.

1. This Black Eyed Peas joke

2. And this one

3. This “Scouser with a lamp” joke

4. This Howard Webb joke

5. This chewing gum joke

6. This injury time joke

7. And this one

Here’s how the stock market reacted to news of Alex Ferguson’s retirement

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    Mute Neil McAuley
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    Jan 12th 2013, 2:57 PM

    Paul – Harry needs wins at this stage, only 2 all season. While a point against a top 3 side is a decent result, draws are not going to suffice for QPR. In fact it’s beginning to look like themselves and Reading could get cut adrift.

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    Mute vv7k7Z3c
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    Jan 12th 2013, 3:59 PM

    I still think it’s a good point Neil, given that Tottenham have the far superior team on paper.

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    Mute Cornelius Collins
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    Jan 12th 2013, 4:52 PM

    think that could be the last nail in the coffin for villa. what the hell has happened to a once great club? to be fair this has been comin for a couple of seasons now. been in rapid decline since the great man himself legged it. really Cant see how they can turn it around. sad day. sad day

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    Mute Begrudgy
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    Jan 12th 2013, 4:23 PM

    Walters go home you’re drunk.

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    Mute Cornelius Collins
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    Jan 12th 2013, 5:07 PM

    thats 42 goals conceded and 17 scored for villa. says it all really!! reading southampton winning wigan qpr gettin a point. honestly thought we would have a tough season but today is takin the piss!! hope i am wrong but think it could be all over. no heart or passion in the side. fair play to reading they r willing to have a go. Cant say fairer than that. better to go down fighting than with a whimper. know which one describes villa at the moment. maybe we can qualify for Europe by the fair play league??

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    Mute Neil McAuley
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    Jan 12th 2013, 5:29 PM

    I’m inclined to agree with u Cornelius. Sad to see such a decline – so many unfamiliar names in their squad and a manager gripped by paralysis. The 7 ever-present clubs since the PL started in ’92 looks like it will lose a member come May.

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    Mute Gaius Gracchus
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    Jan 12th 2013, 11:03 PM

    Villa are a club I’d hate to see relegated,they’ve had a serious lack of investment for a number of seasons now,it’s one of the most threadbare squads on the Premiership too. I’d worry of they went down it could be a long time before they came back up again,but at least they aren’t heavily in debt like Leeds and Portsmouth were,losing Petrov was a big blow too,no leadership since he had to hang up his boots

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    Mute Gaius Gracchus
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    Jan 12th 2013, 11:04 PM

    *in and *if!

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