1. “Right from the start, I loved United and I loved an argument. So it was always going to be a volatile mix when I went to a school full of Liverpool fans.”
2. “I was born in Cork — to the Cork supporters who’d be abusing me in Thurles or Páirc Uí Chaoimh I’d say that’s a bit of a surprise — and I live in Dungarvan now.”
3. “I’m not sure if I was born a perfectionist, or if I just decided subconsciously that was the way it was going to have to be.”
4. “Strange the things that wake you up from the shallow haze of a drunken sleep.”
5. “I was a twelve-year-old boy listening on the wireless to the 1947 All Ireland final between Kerry and Cavan in New York – the only one ever to be played outside Ireland – when I first dreamt about becoming a sports commentator.”
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6. “‘I can’t believe I lost my fucking ear; bang bang!’ Now I’m not a big proponent of the “F” word — in fact I went from age six to age 21 without saying it once — but this was a special occasion and it cried out for a strong expletive.”
7. “As a young lad I was all over the place, a disaster in school and lackadaisical about sport. In a county where hurling is king it was great pucking the ball around but when it came to playing games I wasn’t much bothered.”
8. “The game of rugby has given me so much. I can say with hand on heart that it changed my life. But the first thing it gave me was the fine set of cauliflower ears I have to this day.”
9. “I am crying. I am a Sheffield schoolgirl writing in her diary about the bullies awaiting me tomorrow.”
10. “Long before I tested myself against the aristocrats of schools rugby, long before I started dividing opinion and long before I was made to feel an outsider in the game I loved, sport consumed my childhood.”
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11. “Pat Cleary’s name flashed up on my phone. A former Offaly teammate, he was calling me purely as a friend, though not without first coldly analysing my misdemeanours like the good detective that he is.”
12. “I guess I should should start with the name. It comes from my grandfather…”
13. “Hey, what is that? Not necessarily what you expect to hear from your wife during an affectionate hug.”
14. “I knew it would be hard this morning. In a race that lasts three weeks there are good days and bad days and survival is all about morale.”
15. “18 June 1994. Down to the last stubborn seconds in New Jersey and it sounded as if the earth itself had begun to whistle.”
16. “No matter what kind of journey we make of life, where we started out will always be part of us.”
How many of these sports autobiographies can you guess from their opening lines?
1. “Right from the start, I loved United and I loved an argument. So it was always going to be a volatile mix when I went to a school full of Liverpool fans.”
2. “I was born in Cork — to the Cork supporters who’d be abusing me in Thurles or Páirc Uí Chaoimh I’d say that’s a bit of a surprise — and I live in Dungarvan now.”
3. “I’m not sure if I was born a perfectionist, or if I just decided subconsciously that was the way it was going to have to be.”
4. “Strange the things that wake you up from the shallow haze of a drunken sleep.”
5. “I was a twelve-year-old boy listening on the wireless to the 1947 All Ireland final between Kerry and Cavan in New York – the only one ever to be played outside Ireland – when I first dreamt about becoming a sports commentator.”
***
6. “‘I can’t believe I lost my fucking ear; bang bang!’ Now I’m not a big proponent of the “F” word — in fact I went from age six to age 21 without saying it once — but this was a special occasion and it cried out for a strong expletive.”
7. “As a young lad I was all over the place, a disaster in school and lackadaisical about sport. In a county where hurling is king it was great pucking the ball around but when it came to playing games I wasn’t much bothered.”
8. “The game of rugby has given me so much. I can say with hand on heart that it changed my life. But the first thing it gave me was the fine set of cauliflower ears I have to this day.”
9. “I am crying. I am a Sheffield schoolgirl writing in her diary about the bullies awaiting me tomorrow.”
10. “Long before I tested myself against the aristocrats of schools rugby, long before I started dividing opinion and long before I was made to feel an outsider in the game I loved, sport consumed my childhood.”
***
11. “Pat Cleary’s name flashed up on my phone. A former Offaly teammate, he was calling me purely as a friend, though not without first coldly analysing my misdemeanours like the good detective that he is.”
12. “I guess I should should start with the name. It comes from my grandfather…”
13. “Hey, what is that? Not necessarily what you expect to hear from your wife during an affectionate hug.”
14. “I knew it would be hard this morning. In a race that lasts three weeks there are good days and bad days and survival is all about morale.”
15. “18 June 1994. Down to the last stubborn seconds in New Jersey and it sounded as if the earth itself had begun to whistle.”
16. “No matter what kind of journey we make of life, where we started out will always be part of us.”
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Autobiography Quiz Sports Books