A NATION HELD its breath.
And now we can laugh.
Is that OK to say?
Can we look at a crestfallen Gareth Southgate in his sponsored Marks and Spencer attire and smile, cherishing this smart-casual defeat?
Rinse and repeat.
Give us more of these scenes of shrunken English pride, please.
In the build up to this 2-1 Euro 2024 final loss, one that could so easily have been by a margin of three or four goals after a frenetic second half in which Spain wasted a handful of chances but still scored twice, one of the examples cited for why the England manager is such a good person was the fact he wrote 5,000 words about former Middlesbrough teammate Alen Boksic with less than 12 hours notice for a chapter in a book.
Let’s hold out for the thesis on this rueful night in Berlin.
Southgate is undoubtedly a decent and respectful man, but so much of what still surrounds England is not.
All it took was to hear the boos from their fans as the Spanish national anthem was played before kick-off to be reminded of that.
England started slowly and relatively steady, keeping the tournament top scorers goalless at half time.
At the restart they gained further encouragement when Rodri – later awarded player of the competition – was forced off injured.
Rather than infuse them with positivity and energy it only served to deepen the sense of malaise that has characterised so much of England’s play over the last month.
Spain, on the other hand, ran riot.
By the end, after Mikel Oyarzabal got the near-post run on Marc Guehi and prodded home for a delightful 86th-minute winner, it was their fans ole-ing.
Are we mature enough as a nation – whatever that means – to laugh at England’s expense?
Is that not the definition of being Irish?
Slag those you care about and ignore those you don’t.
You might not get a reply from English friends and family at the moment.
Or you’ll probably be asked how Ireland got on in Germany. Or how to spell the new manager from Iceland’s name.
Is it OK to soak in Declan Rice’s tears and savour every single one of them?
The former Republic of Ireland international has look jaded, one-paced and lacking in many world-class attributes during this tournament.
Passing forwards for one.
He’d still be our best midfielder, of course.
He almost scored a stunning bullet header to send the game to extra-time but Unai Simón made a fine save and Dani Olmo made an even better clearance off the line from Guehi’s rebound.
It would have been the latest act of escapology given Spain had a host of second-half chances to make this an embarrassing night.
Harry Kane’s wait for a trophy of note in a career that has been filled with goals – and reinvention – goes on, and he remains the butt of the joke.
As are England today.
They will say this defeat was brave but thankfully it doesn’t matter.
They’re going home and the trophy is going to Spain.
Football belongs to us all and so does the brief joy of this result.
For now, let’s think of the St George’s flags that were shown on TV and savour some of their owners’ hungover trips home to places like Grimsby, Scunthorpe and Essex.
ITV have yet to put up the reaction of their pundits to the winning goal.
Maybe Roy Keane smiled at the outcome this time.
We all can today.
And tomorrow.
They may well be wiped from our faces when England land in Dublin on 7 September for the start of the Nations League, though.
That will be their first game since this 2-1 defeat and they will likely have a new manager.
Southgate has taken them to the final of the European Championships twice.
The first lost on penalties to Italy at Wembley, this one lost to a superior team with far more effective attacking players.
Lamine Yamal celebrated his 17th birthday this week by teeing up 22-year-old Nico Williams for the opener.
Both were the first to embrace Mikel Oyarzabal after he sealed victory.
England were bereft and beaten by the end.
Let’s hope it’s a hangover that lasts beyond their trip to Dublin on 7 September.
