THE PASSENGERS ON the Ryanair flight from Dublin are getting restless.
Thirty minutes after landing in Manchester there is no sign of the steps for disembarking. So, we sit. Robbie Brady is too, in his car outside Terminal 3 waiting for The42. Not ideal, but this chat has been a month in the making since he gave just a snippet of insight into the struggles he has faced.
โI was delighted to be back wearing a green jersey again. It was a long 18 months on and off the pitch for me, a tough time.โ
That was after his 91st-minute penalty secured a dramatic 3-2 win over Armenia in September.
Brady hadnโt kicked a ball for his country since suffering an Achillesโ injury against Qatar in March 2021. When his contract with Burnley expired a few months later, the clubโs former record signing at ยฃ10.5 million was released.
He was not far off 30 and in search of a new club, with an injury record that would make even the most hardened wince. He ruptured a tendon in his knee which ruled him out for the guts of a year in 2017/18, then damaged ribs as well as various ankle, groin, hamstring, thigh and calf problems.
But his struggles ran deeper.
Forty-five minutes after landing, the steps arrive.
A quick drive from the airport to a coffee shop near his home in Wilmslow, Cheshire, and Brady is ready to talk; about dealing with grief, anxiety, and finally understanding what it is to be happy.
David Sneyd: You were 15 when you came to Manchester United first. Half your life has been here in England. Youโve grown up here, and life now is being married with two kids.
Robbie Brady: The slower side of things. I love it, man. They say boys and men take longer to mature. I wouldnโt even be able to recognise myself from my early 20s to now. I hadnโt a care in the world about anything. Now, wife and two kids, living over here. I enjoy the slower side of things. Picking the young fella up from football after this, that makes my day.
Being at Preston and being at home here, thatโs sorted my head out because I had a difficult few years. It started with injuries and then other stuff off the pitch. I had a bit of a mad year, then I was down to Bournemouth on my own; the kids are here in school. Back up here, Iโm happy.
DS: Youโve said mad time off the pitch there, and after the Armenia goal, you said it was rough too. What have you had to deal with? And when you do have to deal with tough stuff in life, does it make you reassess what it is to be successful and happy?
RB: 100%. When I did get highs in football, that was brilliant but it was only filling a small gap and then it was gone. You chase your whole life looking for those highs, but itโs about finding that balance of being happy.
As tough as it was being away at Bournemouth, it gave me a lot of time to think. Being back up here puts things in perspective. I lost a few people over the last two years, very close to me; one of my aunties, probably the closest person to me outside of my wife and kids.
DS: What was her name?
RB: Maggie Brady. She was diagnosed with cancer and then within a few months it was bang, gone.
DS: When?
RB: The week before I moved down to Bournemouth [in October 2021]. I got a phone call saying, โYou have to get home, thereโs nothing more they can doโ.
I couldnโt even book a flight online because it was too late at night. So, I shot up to the airport and because of Covid, there was no staff, no one on a desk. There were seats available but there was no one there to get me on a flight. I was bouncing off the walls trying to get on a flight.
I went home, waited for the red-eye flight, and she hung on until the next morning when I was able to get home. I was straight in to see her after getting back. I could see she was hanging on.
Itโs mad, they told her I was coming the night before and I think now until this day that she would have been gone if they hadnโt said I was coming to say goodbye. I literally went in, said goodbye, and within 10 seconds, that was it. Gone. She passed away. That was rough.
DS: How was she so close to you growing up?
RB: Just everything. A mother figure. She did everything for us, me and all my [five] brothers and [two] sisters from a young age. She was there every day. She would be the one who came over [to England] all the time, to see the kids, spend time. That was a mad time because that was after losing my cousin, one of my good mates, my nanny and my grandad.
DS: Thatโs a lot of grief and pain. It can get on top of you quickly without you even realising.
RB: Thatโs it. So, football is massive to me. I played with people over the years who said, โAh, I canโt wait to finish, I donโt like footballโ. That was never the case. I still love it, but with my injuries and all this stuff, I didnโt realise how important your head was.
They say you carry stress in your body, and it does come out. It was a rough few years. I struggled. But Iโm back now, Iโm happy. When Maggie passed away, I was back for the funeral. Within a week, I got a phone call from Scott Parker.
DS: Then youโre away from your family at this vulnerable time when youโre dealing with a lot of grief.
RB: I was up and gone, so it was rough. Not rough, Jesus Christ, these are things that happen in life. But at the time, it was a sticky one.
DS: When youโre going through it, all the money in the world doesnโt matter. How do you cope?
RB: Money doesnโt matter a bollox. Unless you go through different stuff, there are people who have things a hell of a lot worse in life, which I understand, but everyone has got to look after themselves. Success for me now is being happy, making sure my wife is happy, my kids are happy.
Iโve played the most football Iโve played in years now consecutively. Iโm feeling good. But itโs been a mad few years. You talk to people [about it] โ I stopped doing interviews for a while just for saying the same stuff over and over.
DS: What did you have that was new to say?
RB: Thatโs it. What else have I got to say? I donโt have social media, Iโm not into all that stuff so I donโt see too much, but the bits I do see are annoying enough. You get an injury, you play one game, and youโre the worst player in the world. Itโs like starting all over again. I donโt know. I suppose itโs part and parcel of it.
DS: To survive the game this long is a success in itself.
RB: To still have that hunger in you, itโs hard, itโs mentally hard over the years. Youโd see people drop out of the game for what you thought was no reason, and youโd say, โIs he mad? Whatโs he doing?โ The more youโre in it, you see why.
With the injuries Iโve had, Iโll be honest, the phone was ringing, I was getting offered this, I didnโt really fancy that. Offers from abroad and Iโm thinking, โIs that all thatโs there now?โ. Then Iโm thinking, โActually, fuck it, youโre right, I wouldnโt sign me after the last couple of yearsโ.
Iโd never begrudge someone for not wanting to take you because you played fucking five or 10 games in a season, you know what I mean? But I got myself back now and Iโm as fit as ever.
DS: The off the pitch troubles, are you ready to accept it and talk about it?
RB: It was after I done my knee [a ruptured tendon that ruled him out for almost 12 months] the year after the Euros [in 2016]. Up until that, I hadnโt a care in the world. I was loud, this, that and the other. Then, I donโt know if youโve ever had anxiety or anything before โ honestly, I hadnโt a clue about it. Then, one day, boom, just paralysed. I was like, โWhat is this?โ. I was frozen solid. That went on for two to three years [after the Euros].
DS: What caused it?
RB: I have no idea. It just felt like it was building. Probably years of burying stuff. Then justโฆ
DS: What were they like, the feelings you had?
RB: Just, we were car pooling on the way to training [with Burnley] and Iโd be sitting in the car quiet. I hadnโt got it in me to be able to talk. This went on for a while.
Do you know what, we were in one camp [with Ireland] before the Euros [in 2016]. I remember the morning of the game, we were going down for a meeting and I was in a lift going down. I just froze solid. My head was away. I think the doc was in the lift and a couple of others, I could barely see. Funnily enough, Johnny Walters saw me go quiet, he saw me. He pulled me and asked was I alright, had I got a bit of anxiety or something? I said, โYeah, but I donโt know what this isโ. I had a chat with him because he spotted it on my face.
DS: The anxiety, is it from burying stuff and then it comes out like that?
RB: Even talking to you now โ I donโt talk to anybody about this type of thing. My wife was at me for years, would you go and talk to this person or whatever. Iโd be like, โYeah, yeah, yeahโ.
DS: Why are you able to talk about it now?
RB: Just because Iโm in a good place, a happy place, whereas if I wasnโt in a good place, Iโd be burying it again. Itโs only now that I look back and think, โFucking hell, have I been struggling at this pointโ.
Like I said, I donโt want sympathy from anyone. Iโm just telling it from my point of view. People struggle with all different types of things. If I didnโt have these moments, I donโt think I would be as happy or as clear-minded as I am now.
DS: Did you go and speak to someone to help you?
RB: No. I said I would. I felt I have a few good mates around. Without even telling them about it all, but chatting to them, to my wife Kerrie. She helped defuse it all. I feel like Iโm in a good place. So, touch woodโฆ I know, Iโm going bleedinโ on likeโฆ
DS: No, youโre not. Having those support networks are important. People you can trust.
RB: Definitely. A chat with those people around you helps.
DS: Has it brought you closer with your wife?
RB: 100%. Life feels alright. Being happy and being able to make my wife and kids happy is my main goal in life.
DS: After my own son was born I was convinced there was something wrong with me, that I was going to die and wouldnโt see him grow up. I went for check-ups and all sorts because I had this horrible fear over nothing stuffโฆ
RB: How mad is that? I know exactly what you mean. Stop, man. The head is a deadly weapon. Iโve the same thing with different things. I get a pain in my throat and Iโd be sitting on the sofa thinking, โThatโs me, fuck me, Iโm doneโ.
DS: Being in a happy place is great for you but also for your kids. They see the best of you.
RB: Thatโs what itโs about. The little fella, Louis, is mad into the football now. My little girl, Halle, does dancing, acting, singing. Sheโs mad, she has some amount of personality. Sheโs brilliant. Sheโs brilliant. Absolutely brilliant she is. Iโm part-time footballer, part-time taxi man, doing stuff with them. I love that.
DS: You talk about the moments that have helped you think clearer. There have been really high moments in footballโฆ
RB: You have to enjoy the times when theyโre good, but talking about high times, after the Euros, I just wanted to get away.
DS: In Ireland, you were like the king of the world!
RB: Not in my head, man. I didnโt want anything to do with it. Listen, no one is ever going to take that [goals against Italy and France] away from me. But honestly, man, with anxiety and that, I hadnโt a clue what was going on. I wanted to go and enjoy things back in Dublin. I donโt mean I wanted to walk around like โIโm the manโ. I wanted to spend time with my family. But I landed back in Dublin and Iโm saying to my wife, โI have to get out of hereโ. Within a couple of days, we were abroad.
DS: Why did you feel that way?
RB: You know, being in Dublin was probably even the best place for it, because over here, if you play for one of the big teams, the big players canโt go out. No one in Dublin gives a bollox really. They come up โ โYeah, sound, fair play to yeโ โ and thatโs it. Grand. Itโs probably the best place in the world for it. But when youโre overthinking things and you have this touch of anxiety, in my head I was thinking I didnโt want to go anywhere. Man, I ended up doing a burner out of the country.
DS: Did you go by yourself?
RB: No, no. With my wife and daughter. We spent most of the summer away. I knew Wes [Hoolahan] was going to Sardinia with his family so we ended up going there. Me, Wes and Shane Long went over. We ended up having a great holiday. Italy had just been knocked out as well so a few of their boys, and some the older ones, were in our hotel: [Lorenzo] Insigne, [Fabio] Grosso, [Alberto] Aquilani. Just nodded, spoke to Insigne a couple of times.
DS: That anxiety, I think a lot of people will relate. You think people are looking at you and expecting something of you when really theyโre not, theyโre dealing with their own stuff.
RB: Exactly, but at that time, I wasnโt that person where I could think like that. I didnโt want any fuss. Donโt get me wrong, I was loving my football, but I was different. Now Iโve learned to take those highs and lows in my stride.
DS: You and Jeff Hendrick, that friendship has lasted the longest for you in football.
RB: Weโre so close. We grew up together in St Kevinโs [Boys], then I went to United, he went to Derby. Barely spoke for the few years we were away and then as soon as you meet, itโs like you never left each other. Even when weโre away [with Ireland] now, Iโm back in and straight away the two of us are on two beds looking to see whatโs on or Iโm texting him asking if heโs got something for us to watch while weโre away. Itโs been like that for years.
There was a time [at Burnley] when he was suspended or injured and I was the same. We ended up having a few weeks without playing. He had an apartment at one end of the village [in Hale] and I had an apartment at the other end. Heโd text saying, โDo ye fancy a pint?โ or Iโd text him. Weโd only take 20 quid each with us just so weโd only have a couple pints each and then shoot home. Wardy [Stephen Ward] would come with us sometimes and, weโd have people in the pub wanting to buy us pints and we couldnโt even get them one back because we only had a score with us. Then come the end of the night Wardy would pull another 20 or 30 quid out of his pocket. Good times.
DS: Itโs important to keep hold of those friendships.
RB: Yeah, of course. My best mate lives out in Australia now. Heโs just had twin boys with an English girl. Darragh Wright, Daz, is his name. Iโve not seen him since last Christmas when he stopped off here on his way back to Dublin. I could not see him for a couple of years now but I know the day we do we will just be, bang, straight back together.
And Iโve been lucky with the lads I do have around me. Paul McShane lives around the corner, our two families are very close. On the school run yesterday, I get a beep; itโs Whelo [Glenn Whelan] waving at me out the window. Heโs only around the corner.
A lot of the Irish lads live around. Sheasy [John OโShea] lives around the corner. Caoimhin [Kelleher] lives nearby; I saw him the other day and rolled the window down to say hello.
You meet people like that throughout your career and they end up being one of your best mates. James Chester, I met him [at United]. He helped me with loads of stuff.
DS: Youโre at a stage now where you can help younger ones.
RB: I donโt envy that side of things now with the young lads. Iโm not saying that like Iโm bleedinโ 55 years of age. When you see people coming through now, especially at top clubs, they have a lot to shoulder. Theyโre a brand. They have this bubble around them now of all sorts of shite whereas it used to just be football.
Now I wouldnโt envy keeping up appearances, looking after sponsors. How are you meant to concentrate on football? Ex-pros and people on the telly will say, โHeโs not performingโ, but there is not a chance that they would be able to shoulder what is going on now. It is different. People have to take that into consideration.
DS: You never know whatโs in playersโ minds.
RB: No, never. I played with different people who struggled over the years with different things that no one would have heard a word of. Thatโs the business, youโre under the microscope.
DS: But deliver and no one cares.
RB: Thatโs it. If youโre playing well, thereโs not a word of it. I find over here the media is mad. There is no one safe. Everyone is fair game.
DS: You must be aware of the talk around Ireland and the job Stephen Kenny is doing? Your assessment as a senior player of where Ireland are at?
RB: Itโs different where we are. Itโs enjoyable to go in and play football. Donโt get me wrong, there is a different enjoyment. I suppose in a lot of the games [before] it was backs against the wall and we came out with some unbelievable results. Theyโre moments I will never forget, thatโs just a different way of playing. Itโs not right or wrong.
This, now at the minute, is very enjoyable. The results early on were hard to take but, I donโt know, it depends what people are after? What do people want? Do they want us to be backs against the wall for now and forever? Football is changing. All these young lads coming through now, they will all be playing football at their own club. They wonโt be kicking the ball like we used to, ye know what I mean? Or we havenโt got the type of players that are going to be your Jonny Walters, Shane Longs, Kevin Doyles, thatโs the thing.
DS: Finding the balance between the old characteristics and mixing with the new to try and get results
RB: Thatโs it. I switch off to the other side because everyone is going to have opinions. People that want to see us playing football, enjoying the games, I see the lads saying, โAh, it was enjoyable to play in the game tonightโ, and then you are still going to have people giving out saying, โShite result again, probably the worst result in Irish historyโ.
And do you know what the thing is? No one is shite anymore. Honest to God, you play Qatar; technically, theyโre unbelievable. I donโt know. You canโt please everyone. Everyone does their best.
DS: The squad out earlier today (last Thursday). Evan Ferguson in for first time and only 18โฆ the new generation is coming!
RB: Mental! Theyโre already here, man! Itโs great. Iโm looking forward to seeing him and how he gets on. When I couldnโt get myself fit enough, I was gutted not to be part of it. So, Iโm buzzing now being back in and around it.
DS: Back in a good place mentally, football going as well as ever โ is another tournament with Ireland still there as an ambition?
RB: Yeah, definitely. You do take everything into perspective like Iโve said, but to get to another tournament, by no means am I done. Iโm 30, not 50. To get to another tournament with Ireland is up there as a frontrunner for me in football. What it would do for the country.
When I do finish, thatโs what Iโm looking forward to, throwing on a jumper and jeans and going to a match. There was an Ireland game not too long ago, we were driving into the stadium and there was a point in the road where the stewards stopped where the fans couldnโt go through so the bus could go up the road and into the stadium.
So, we had gone through and the next thing some Ireland fan with a flag around him and a hat on jumps over the barrier. Heโs sprinted up alongside the bus. We were all laughing looking out the window already, and then we saw it was Damien Duff like that [raising his fists] up along the side of the bus. It was a cracker man, cracker it was. He was flying. Heโs a top man, top class.โ
Ah so the Beijing-Dublin GAA team wear Borussia Dortmund kits. A fine choice.
New meaning to โyellow wallโ