WITH THE GROUPINGS for the first two rounds released this evening, there remain two questions this Masters week.

Number one: How will Jordan Spieth inexplicably arrest his alarming slide in form to claim another green jacket? And number two: What’s on the menu for Patrick Reed’s Champions Dinner?

Cards on the table — and that’s not to suggest the reigning champion is a tight-arse — this writer only put the hand up to do this post in the belief that it would be a five-minute job: slap in a picture of the menu, add a couple of lines of text, and change the author to ‘The42 Team’ so as to abscond from any personal responsibility.

However, having perused the corresponding article from last year, penned unashamedly and with a frankly annoying level of effort by The42′s Sean Farrell, this writer’s evening has since been ruined.

Let’s hope it goes better for the 30-something green jacket holders who will later join Reed for a munch in Augusta — or at least better than last year’s Champions Dinner which started with Sergio Garcia’s ludicrously sycophantic ‘international salad’ and during which, if one was allergic to shellfish, they could technically have died.

Reed, likely cognisant that he is personally not to many people’s tastes, has at least shown a modicum of decency by providing options aplenty — albeit two of them are crème brûlées. Here’s a glance at the menu in full:

Zach Klein (@ZachKleinWSB on Twitter) Zach Klein (@ZachKleinWSB on Twitter)

The42′s verdict:

Reed lays down a marker for the evening with one starter option that will incite unholy levels of banter: the first former champion who dares opt for the Caesar over the Wedge will surely have their approach play called into question by the entire table, and Reed is doubtless hoping that it will be Spieth who falls foul of this cunning trap.

Last month, the 2018 Masters champion claimed he knew aged 13 what he would put on the table at golf’s most famous dinner if he ever won a Masters, and that might explain why, 15 years later, his guests — some of whom are in their seventies — will be feasting on Macaroni & Cheese.

To be fair to Reed, though, the assortment of vegetables should keep most of his scoffers happy, although where he intends to find trout on a mountain is anybody’s guess.

The Prime Bone-In Cowboy Ribeye main option is perfectly on-brand for the Texan, who has followed most former champions in bringing a native flavour to the table — in his case a slab of meat so freakishly large that even one portion could cause the legs of that table to buckle beneath its weight, potentially ruining the entire meal for everyone. 

But a second crème brûlée — this one crucially not made of corn — is sure to raise spirits should all else go awry.

As will Reed’s two wines — a 2016 Chateau Montelena Chardonnay from Napa Valley and a 2013 Caymus Vineyards 41st Anniversary Cabernet Sauvignon – which retail for around $50 and $80 respectively.

“It’s going to be a very fun night,” said Reed, who earlier this year threatened to “fatten everyone up” at the dinner.

“Honestly, I just can’t wait to go out and spend time with the past champions and hear different stories and be able to talk to the guys about, you know, how their experience was winning their first, whether it was a couple years ago, last year, whether it was a long time ago.”

A thoughtful host, a decent sense of humour, a good listener — how could anybody not like this guy?!

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