FOR MILLIONS of kids, the dream is to become a professional footballer.
The reality does not always live up to the fantasy.
The parent of one young Irish footballer, who spoke under the condition of anonymity, tells The 42 her story.
“When people say to me it must be brilliant [my son] being a footballer, my only response is: ‘No, not really.’ It’s ruthless, very ugly sometimes and extremely lonely.”
She describes the choice to allow her son to move to England “the hardest decision of my life,” like “I was throwing him to the wolves”.
Covid was among the most difficult periods. The pair are close but could not see each other in the flesh for eight months due to restrictions.
Initially, when the player moved over, he was in digs with countless non-negotiable rules.
Every night, he had to be in the house by 9pm and in bed by 10.
Having broken into the first team at a young age, a new manager promptly dropped him.
“He was crying one night, which he never did. I asked: ‘What’s wrong?’ And he could barely talk to me. He said: ‘Nobody will tell me what I’ve done wrong.’
“The manager told him: ‘Grow a set of balls. You’re a grown-up now. You’re in the big boys world. Don’t want to know about it. Stop whinging.’
“All he wanted was somebody to tell him what he did wrong or what he needed to improve on so that he could go and do it.
“And so I flew over, I spoke with the director of football. I just said to him: ‘Look, it’s Christmas time. He’s been dropped from the team. Let him come home for Christmas if he’s not going to be played on Stephen’s Day. And he said: ‘Oh no, we’ll need him on the bench.’
“So we flew over for Christmas because we wouldn’t allow him to be on his own. And he was at a really low point in his life. And then we were there for Christmas when they didn’t even put him in the team at all.
“So I think a year he was away from home, no friends, because he doesn’t have true friends over there, and everyone comes and goes.
“So we spent Christmas over there. It was Covid. Everything was closed. We were eating cheese and crackers with the other kids for Christmas dinner.
“But once we were there with him, and as he even says to this day, he said only for we were there he would have just walked from football.
“That was his breaking point — that Christmas. Had we not been there, he would have just come home.”
The club in question had gone out of their way to sign the Irish youngster with all sorts of elaborate promises and favours.
Having been made to feel very special, within a short period, he was utterly dispensable.
His mum always had serious reservations about him going over before finishing school. But he begged her to reconsider that initial impulse and with added pressure from the club, she eventually relented.
Not long after, both parent and child were regretful about this decision.
“It was all he ever wanted to do,” she recalls. “And I cried for three months.”
However, that awful Christmas proved a turning point for the better.
“Mentally he’s so strong now nothing bothers him,” she says.
He has regained his place in the team under a new manager but the challenges remain significant.
“He tells me weekly to stop reading stuff online when most of it is lies or horrible comments. It’s not easy but I’m getting better at ignoring it.
“It is hurtful when I see things about how ‘useless’ he is. And up until two weeks ago, he was ‘robbing a living as a footballer’. And these are grown men [abusing him].
“It’s a weekly occurrence now because he’s starting every game.
“It’s the same names that will always pop up, and they’ll always have an issue with him, just don’t like him full stop.
“No matter what he does, it’s never good enough. And then you see the fans do the ratings weekly, he’s always one of the lower ones.”
She believes parents are often naive or unaware of the sacrifices required to be a professional footballer.
“I flew over a few times over the years at the drop of the hat. I had to ring work to fly over and be there because he was our priority. He was at a vulnerable age, it was so important that we were there for him.
“I appreciate the fact that you’re doing an article like this because it’s not spoken about enough.
“There’s a kid across the road — the parents spend half their days over and back to [a League of Ireland academy team] and they think he’s going to be the next Ronaldo. And I don’t think people realise what’s ahead.”
Sometimes, she regrets that her son didn’t play for a League of Ireland club and waited until he was older to travel abroad.
“When he was at home, he was so much happier, because every so often, he needs to come home for a weekend just to get an injection of family, and then he’s good to go again.
“Because it’s very different over there. We mollycoddle our kids, but they don’t so much over there.”
She knows another Irish footballer who failed to make the grade in the UK. “The loneliness” and living with “couples he didn’t even know” was a major issue.
“He was only young, he had no family over there or friends,” she adds.
Life as a footballer also means you miss out on significant events and generally get around two weeks at home at the end of every season.
“He didn’t have a Debs, he didn’t have lads holidays, he’s a really good group of friends he’s known since he was a kid. They were in creche and everything since he was three or four. And they’re all such different paths. They’re all in college with part-time jobs, and he’s living away.”
While he has played many matches at a high level, the pressure does not abate.
“He has to be on his A-game every day. He’ll tell me somebody is hanging over his shoulder trying to rob his spot. They’re bringing another [player in his position]. And he was like: ‘I’m not worried, mam. Tough times don’t last, tough people do.’”
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Ciaran Masterson describes himself as “not the normal parent” and his experience has indeed been quite unique.
For 10 years, he was a scout for Liverpool. He also coached Lucan United and was chairman of the Organising Committee for the Dublin District Schoolboys’ League in addition to his day job at Irish Rail.
A few years ago, his son Conor emerged as one of the most promising footballers in this country, captaining Ireland at various age groups, including the particularly talented U21 side that Stephen Kenny managed for a spell.
Dubbed the “million dollar kid,” at 13, Conor was already attracting headlines owing to a transfer deal with Liverpool and Lucan United.
Ciaran was one of the main driving forces behind the move, helping ensure most of the €1 million paid for his services went into Conor’s pocket.
Had he been playing for a more high-profile Dublin club or if it was nowadays and he was on the books of a League of Ireland side, that would not have been the case.
A boyhood fan of the Reds, Conor officially joined Liverpool at 16, but even before then he was making regular trips to the Anfield club — one of 26 teams that expressed an interest in signing him.
“His mother used to commute with him, and he played on a Saturday for Liverpool, and then he’d come home and play the Sunday for me, and we played in the DDSL.
“At that age, you get away with it, because I was a manager. In other words, he wouldn’t be playing 90 minutes on Sunday, unless it was a big game.
“But the important thing, for us as parents, was we were trying to ensure a level of normality [for Conor].
“I’m not against the structure that’s there [now for young Irish players]. It has its pros and cons. But as a parent, I could influence an awful lot more than a parent today.”
Ciaran did all of Conor’s business until the age of 21 when he signed with an agent.
Keeping the youngster at Lucan was crucial to his development, Ciaran believes.
“When he was going through growth spurts, I stuck him at the back, so when he was over his growth spurts, I put him up front. I played him in various positions to give him the experience.
“And then when he went on trial, we controlled when he’d go. There was no club putting him on trial. We agreed on it through proper protocols. And we went and we saw different things. And we learned. He had some pretty good experiences, going to West Ham, they played Chelsea, and he did well.
“And Chelsea came in with an offer. He had already had a strong offer from Manchester City, Liverpool and Manchester United
“The model Liverpool were offering was similar to what the [other] big clubs do. They can afford to do it. So we knew there was no issue with flights over and back.
“We were monitoring his schooling. So he went to school over there and did his GCSEs.”
Conor benefitted from playing in a talented Lucan United side, who reached an All-Ireland final and won the Dublin Cup.
Other youngsters who got moves across the water after success with Lucan around that period included Ireland international Mark Travers, Brandon Payne and Sean Whelan. Ciarán Kelly, now with Bradford, and Shamrock Rovers’ Danny Grant were also among their graduates.
Conor, meanwhile, was initially making excellent progress at Liverpool.
Jarell Quansah, who has made over 50 first-team appearances for the Reds and is four years the Irishman’s junior, was sometimes brought over by the head of the academy to watch Conor play.
And for a couple of years, Conor shared digs with another promising Irish youngster — Caoimhín Kelleher, whom he played with for Ireland at underage level.
“I recommended him to one of the coaches,” Conor tells The 42. “He was playing with us, for Ireland. They were looking for a goalkeeper, our age. They were like: ‘Do you have anyone in mind?’ And I was like: ‘ Yeah.’ So he came on trial and did well.”
Ciaran relays it slightly differently.
“Caoimhín Kelleher went to Liverpool because I had a good relationship with his mother. He was going to Aston Villa.
“I scouted Caoimhín to Liverpool. That’s how we started at Liverpool. But Conor would always say he recommended him.”
The Celbridge native made a couple of Liverpool matchday squads and was notably among the substitutes for their 3-0 Champions League win over Man City in 2018.
But disaster struck two days before Conor’s planned first-team debut.
While training, he fell awkwardly with manager Jurgen Klopp watching on.
So, instead of travelling to the US on the club’s pre-season tour, he found himself in a hospital bed.
The cartilage injury “changed his career,” Ciaran says.
“Liverpool don’t wait, because they have another one,” he adds. “There’s always the next player.
“So his development was right. His finances were right. It was the right club. But if I were to do it all again, I would probably look at Brighton or somebody where you could have a chance of getting into the first team. Breaking into the first team is a difficult business.
“You look at other players that have come through, the likes of Dara O’Shea, Nathan [Collins] and all, they’ve had different pathways, and they are pathways that I would recommend to parents, go to a Stoke, go to West Brom, get your chance to play, and then if you play, go on.”
On the other hand, Conor remains adamant Liverpool was the right move.
“I nearly made it. If I hadn’t got injured, I would have played for Liverpool. That’s how I see it. Would I change something with the experiences I had? No way.”
And even with hindsight, Ciaran admits turning down Liverpool would not have been a straightforward decision.
“If someone offered you a million quid, how would you deal with that? Would you take it? Or would you say: ‘I won’t go there. I’ll go to Middlesbrough because I would have a better chance to come through.’
“Finances are not everything, but as a parent, you’re trying to safeguard your son, because he is not employing himself in third-level education.
“My second son [Shane] had an offer from Manchester United as a good goalkeeper, and he didn’t take it because it wasn’t the right thing for him, and he’s now a chartered accountant with PwC.
“Because of my own experiences, I could see straight away that Shane would be an accountant. He wasn’t going to be a professional footballer.
“Other parents would not have seen that, but I have been in football for a long time.”
Ciaran namechecks Ciaran Medlar, the head of sports advisory at BDO and independent chairman at Shamrock Rovers, as someone he found helpful for financial advice.
Yet the 57-year-old feels more support is needed, in general, for parents of young footballers who are obliged to make potentially life-changing decisions for their children.
“What I would call the formative years, it’s a real critical challenge for any parent, because you give over [a lot] to these clubs.
“You do need, I would say, people safeguarding the child’s future and development as a goal.
“So the biggest challenge [with teenagers] going over is that you give up all that parenting and direct influence on the individual.”
Conor spent four years at QPR after Liverpool but made just 17 appearances in the Championship, the majority of that time was spent out on loan.
He has since signed with Gillingham and become a regular at centre-back for the League Two side.
“Conor didn’t have that power. But when he became a man, he had that power,” Ciaran says.
“So QPR are fighting in the Championship and ‘we’re going to trust the old fella,’ and that stifled his development. So then he has to down the leagues to play and everywhere he’s gone, he’s done really well.
“[People might say]: ‘There’s no such thing as luck, the cream comes to the top.’ It’s absolute bullshit. You need a huge amount of luck and you need a manager to say: ‘I’m going to give him a chance,’ and a club to say: ‘He’s going to make a few mistakes, but at the end of the day, we’ll get money out of him, because he’ll have 50 games at a young age, and a big club will take him. So let him make his mistakes.’”
The modern equivalent of Conor now would perhaps look to play League of Ireland men’s football at 16, as Brexit-related rules mean Irish teenagers cannot move to the UK until they’re 18.
However, Conor does not necessarily believe this pathway is preferable, suggesting it is easier for Irish clubs to trust teenage wingers or strikers given the extra physicality required at centre-back.
“I’m playing against Chelsea 18s, I played against all the Arsenal players. I played against Sancho, Saka, and Foden, at under 18s.
“They’re the elite of the elite. So it’s hard to say that’s not good for me either.
“But playing men’s football earlier, if you can — if you’re physically able to? Yes, I think so.
“Technically, you have to be able to. But I don’t think any 18-year-old could come over and play in League Two [from Ireland] now, I think he’d just get bullied.
“But if you’re training with a first-team every day, and you’re getting better, and you’re training around them players every day and learning from them, that’s good also. So it’s a tough one.
“Technically, I was good enough. But could I have played for Liverpool at 18, at centre half? No. Because you need a lot of experience playing in that position.”
Ciaran stresses that there have been countless great memories and positive experiences on this journey. But is there anything they would have done differently?
“[Conor] should have played men’s football earlier, so he believes he should have gone on loan at 18-19 to a non-league team just to play,” Ciaran says.
“Second thing is, they wanted him to play central defender, but he’s a forward-thinking player. Liverpool said: ‘You’re playing at the back,’ when he really wanted to play midfield and push on. He really was an eight.
“Maybe I could have put more time into developing his aggression as a central defender. Did I do that wrong?
“All I know is if he hadn’t got a knock, and he’d gone to America playing with the likes of Virgil van Dijk, all of these players that he trained with for six months, and Liverpool had enough confidence to put him on the bench for the Champions League, on the bench against Everton in the Merseyside derby.
“But other players have caught up and passed him out. And that’s something you have to reflect on as well. Could you have done more for Conor’s development? There’s only so much you can do. And he recognises that, he tries every day to make himself a better player. It’s a great attitude he has, but you need a little bit of luck.”
Great read Paul.
And there you have it… Irish football’s decision to export players at a young age for the last 50 years is the reason why the international team had struggled since money started to dominate. These boys are seen as nothing but numbers as the Irish boys in particular are just cannon fodder. English clubs will not be patient or mindful as they need to break them early on to see if they can cut it or not. If this was managed through local academies in LOI, the number of kids that will have successful careers will be much greater. Problem is that it will be difficult to persuade parents (and players) that the best route for their super star is in Ireland. I know a very talented boy who spent 2 years at Nottingham Forest and never played again when he came home.
@Paul Ennis: Irish u18′s cannot move to UK until they are 18 due to Brexit. They can though go to EU clubs freely. This is the reason L of I clubs are pushing the FAI for academy funding, which is falling on the FAI’s profoundly deaf ears!!
@Ollie Fitzpatrick: Brexit was an accidental benefit and with a bit of luck it is harnessed. Very difficult to compare to rugby as the financial models are completely different, but the FAI could try to grow the LOI academies to improve the quality of the league
@Paul Ennis: That’s what I have been saying here over the last few weeks (even months) Paul, the government funding for L of I clubs should not come through the FAI. They’re not caring whatsoever about academies, they are more interested in the bobs in their pockets!
Academies are the future of the L of I. Thank you JD for effing things up!!
@Paul Ennis: absolutely right. The situation that was allowed develop regarding sending our youngsters to England as academy fillers is nothing short of a disgrace which reflects really badly on all levels of soccer in Ireland. Brexit was a stroke of luck indeed. It’s never too late to change the model but it seems the FAI are just not that interested.
@Michael Corkery: I think the FAI have lost control of the decision making around that and the Brexit intervention just delays the inevitable. There are Irish agents and private academies around the country lining their pockets to send bus loads of kids across the water. And who do the kids dream of playing for? It will never be Longford Town or Shelbourne. I hope I am wrong, but I don’t think that will ever change.
Great piece. You see it with parents and they telling you their 14 year old is over at Ipswich on trials. They’re delighted with themselves. The naivety is stunning. Most of those lads will be churned out, will pack it in and won’t even be playing junior ball for the local club in 10 years time. It’s a cesspit.
Great read Paul
Great stuff Paul
Brilliant read. Excellent