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City till they die: Liam and Noel. Alamy Stock Photo

Oasis would not have failed abjectly if they were Manchester United fans

The sky blue colour scheme took the edge off the Gallaghers’ arrogance in the 90s.

SOME MIGHT SAY they don’t believe in tenuous Oasis-related columns, and so this is their chance to slide . . . I won’t do it. No more song titles – for now at least. 

There are many reasons why a young Oasis wouldn’t break through now. Bands in general don’t get as much of a chance, with solo acts preferred. A 20-something Liam or Noel would be cancelled fast by the social media police, and in fairness they did say some bad stuff along with the good. 

Kids in general don’t play guitars so much. And even when they get together and made a righteous sound, record labels are no longer run by people like Alan McGee. 

There are lots of other factors, one stands out to me at least. A swaggering, swearing pair of brothers saying they are brilliant while everybody else is shit – and doing so wearing Manchester City jerseys – does not work in 2024.  

oasis-in-concert-at-earls-court-exhibition-hall-4th-november-1995-liam-gallagher A mid-90s Liam. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

Being City fans pared their arrogant edge in the 90s. The sky blue colour scheme let us all in on the joke. They and we knew success could evaporate as quickly as it arrived. Like City, they could follow a win over United with defeat at Middlesbrough. Like City, they could be relegated twice and end up performing in Chesterfield and Lincoln again. 

The rise of Oasis never seemed anything other than chaotic, their grip on success loose. This was a band who, according to Noel Gallagher, were told by industry bigwigs that if they didn’t perform at the 1996 Brit awards they’d be finished. They did not perform, instead insulting everybody from Blur to Mick Hutchence and Chris Evans while Liam gestured to stick his Brit award up his arse. 

The dramatic flare ups never came as a surprise, things such as failing to deliver the goods in LA due to the band members being amped up on crystal meth which they’d bought in error, and Noel’s subsequent storming off. 

“We live in the shadows and we had the chance but threw it away,” Noel wrote around that time in 1994.

The line is relatable. So much about Oasis was then. This was a band from as boring an area as anybody listening, who were exhibiting the same propensity for self destruction as many would in their situation. 

Their support for a football team more hapless than most others at the time brought it all together. 

Could it have been carried off by United fans? This is the question I asked myself while jogging around earlier, Oasis in the headphones, going at a pace familiar to those who ingested one too many large doners while listening to Columbia back in the day. 

Early Oasis came from a place of yearning. A howl from the doldrums. Wistful, desperate, bold, defiant. Full with the beauty of those who have their imaginations, and not a lot else.  

“I can’t tell you the way I feel because the way I feel is oh so new to me.” 

For a United supporting Noel that line becomes “I can’t tell you the way I feel – but it’s kind of like when we beat Barcelona in Rotterdam and everybody had a great night.”

“You’re head’s in a fish tank, your body and your mind can’t breathe” 

The next thought of a United fan of then is, “Except for that moment of relief I got when Whiteside curled one in”. 

Nothing about being the outcast or the underclass or the uninvited guest who stays till the end. A United supporter always has a Mark Robins to pop up and salvage a bit of joy from life.      

“You could wait for a lifetime, to spend your days in the sunshiiiine,

You might as well do the white line . . .” 

To be a City fan was to be hedonistic in the face of hopelessness when their rivals were doing the white line in celebration. 

close-up-of-manchester-city-home-kit-199899 Brother: A City jersey from the late 90s. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

“Any Man United fans in the area?” Noel said at one gig. “Bastards.” 

Again, we could relate. Yet were he to stand up and say as much at Heaton Park next July then it doesn’t work. His one-time defiance would have turned to triumphalism.

Could City’s general shitness be almost as important to the Oasis appeal as Noel’s inspired writing in the early to mid 90s and Liam’s ability to imbue it all with the right spirit?

Could it be that the gods of football and music cannot sign off on a concurrently successful iteration of both? City got rich in September 2008. Less than a year later, Oasis, in a spin for some time, hit the ditch. Coincidence? Not for me!

Though here we are in 2024 with Oasis about to break Ticketmaster’s servers while City chase five Premier Leagues in row, having achieved a level of dominance that eluded even Alex Ferguson’s United. 

… Yet there are certain court proceedings which have been brought forward towards a resolution.

To my mind, the chances of Oasis making it to next summer without one brother swinging a Fender into the head of another depend on at least one of these 115 charges becoming a big problem for City.   

Reunions? It’s never going to be the same. The years are indeed falling on by like the rain. 

But, who knows? If only for one night, the life we once knew could come to our house and say hello. 

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