REGARDLESS OF WHAT’S coming down the line, Michael McKillop knows that his T38 1,500m final performance in Tokyo is not a satisfactory sign-off for his career.
Whether he can reach the podium once more or has to settle for a fourth-place finish, he knows there’s a better final effort in him. The word retirement has been following him around recently, effectively since his emotional interview with RTÉ a few minutes after crossing the finish line in eighth place in the Paralympics.
He mentioned at the time that it was his last Paralympics and remarked that he “left his spikes out on the track and walked away.” McKillop feels any inference of retirement in that interview there was misinterpreted.
The Antrim man is back at home now, decompressing from his fourth appearance at a Paralympic Games. The disappointment of last week is still evident in his voice, but it’s not long before he starts talking about the rebuild, and the 2022 World Parlaympic Championships in Kobe, Japan.
“It’s funny because a lot of people have talked about retirement and in the interview I gave, I didn’t confirm anything there,” he begins.
“Coming home, I’ve spoken to my parents and my wife and obviously I’m slightly on a break at the moment and haven’t fully thought about it but a lot of people talk about the itch and unfortunately I didn’t get to scratch the itch fully in Tokyo, due to the poor performance and whatever happened, so I don’t believe that I will be completely stepping away from athletics at this stage.
“I believe there’s an itch that’s still there and I need to give a better representation of myself before departing the sport.
“I think if I had have been competitive and missed out on a medal that would have been a little bit more satisfactory, but because of what went on in the race and completely not having a performance that lived up to my expectations, my coach’s expectations or just in general in terms of time, I think there’s a greater chance of me continuing on to compete in Kobe next year, definitely.”
Due to the rescheduling of the Covid-delayed Tokyo Games, the Paralympics in Paris is now just three years away. Having that brief respite from the typical four-year cycle adds another layer of hope for McKillop going forward.
“I think a lot of what other people think of me and don’t want people to think that I’ve gone back on my word. I still stand on Paris 99% not happening but I always hope that something could go really seriously right and I could pick up a medal in the world championships, but we just don’t know until the world championships next.
“My plan in my head is to give it one last shot and get on that podium, and I believe that is possible, but I guess I’ve got to get my head down, shut up and get the work done because I can’t go on my history anymore, I haven’t medalled at two championships so if I really want to be taken seriously, I’ve got to put myself in a better position to be able to deal with the pressure and perform on the night.
“It is 100% based on a medal next year, no doubt about it, and if I don’t win a medal regardless of performance, regardless of if I finish fourth and am really, really close, I just believe that if I don’t win a medal then that is an acceptable way of going out whereas last Saturday was not an acceptable way of departing the sport that I’ve been involved in for 20-odd years and 16 in Para sports.
“It’s definitely I’ve considered from that day but not something I’ve fully decided because there’s a lot of stakeholders that I depend on for funding help, for physiotherapy and things like that, and everyone has to be in agreement for that to continue.
“I have to be able to support my family and obviously financial support is vital if I am to continue, so that’s my ambition personally, but there’s a lot more to it than me and that will be decided probably in the next two to three weeks.”
McKillop can’t identify any one reason to explain why he under-performed in Tokyo. Clinching a silver medal at the Para-Athletics European Championships back in June, McKillop felt he was travelling to Japan in great shape.
His father Paddy is his coach and the pair were sill unable to diagnose what happened when they spoke over the phone this week.
“My dad,” says McKillop, “as a coach questions himself and questions his plans, and did we do something wrong in the lead-up to the Games, but for me, I felt I was in the best shape I was in for a very long time, a session that I did a week out from the competition was probably one of my best sessions all year.”
The reclassification of McKillop’s event is certainly a factor too. For the bulk of his running career, McKillop has competed in the T37 category for athletes with cerebral palsy, excelling over the 800m and 1,500m distances.
However, the International Paralympic Committee [IPC] rejigged the classification has been for the 2019 World Para Athletics Championships, meaning McKillop is now competing in the T38 class. The shake-up left McKillop believing that a gold medal was no longer a realistic goal for him as more athletes were added to his group.
It’s a challenging switch for McKillop but one which he must make peace with as he continues his search for a more fitting end to his Para career.
“With the mix of classifications, it’s not just cerebral palsy, my disability class, that it used to be. It’s acquired brain injuries and it’s the severity of the brain injury now that is being brought into question and the IPC have opened it up to quite mild brain injuries or a small amount of impairment. But that’s the way IPC want to go. They chose to go to mixed classification and you have to accept it.
“But it is frustration in a way because when we look at the bigger picture in regards to other events that happened in my category, the T37 has had a 100m, a 200m, and a 400m, but they didn’t have a place to put in an 800m or a 1,500m for an individual class. And whenever you go to the T38 class as well, it was 100m, 200m, and a 400m for them guys but there was only one mixed classification race.
“It just shows you that most people are obviously just interested in sprints and that’s frustrating because in other classifications they even have a 5km but they don’t even have that race available for us either.
“So we only have one chance to perform, one chance to live up to people’s expectations whereas people who are doing multiple events have a run out before their main event which we don’t get to do. So yeah, it’s frustrating for me.”
Allianz Paralympic brand ambassador Michael McKillop was speaking after competing at the Tokyo Games. Allianz Ireland has been a proud partner of Paralympics Ireland since 2010 and has partnered with Michael for five years.
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Excellent article Murray. It’s the passing that’s concerning. A basic skill, you would assume at this level it certainly ought to be dealt with in training as regards timing. It can’t be perfect in training & poor in matches. So where are the standards vs Joe time when was non negotiable. Jamie O is young but a poor passer when moving and evident since his Leinster debut. We rarely pass in front of each other, almost always static in receiving, and when there is a 1st phase move, it gets stuck in midfield on contact. Bar Hugo try v Italy, very little innovation, attempts to do so. Extremely low risk rugby SA aside, since RWC. And while we love Hugo, nothing in attack from returned kicks. Little evidence Andrew Goodman was the right choice. You can swap the above comments for Leinster too.
@Mark Kearney: agree and add the waning of our ‘power game’ – that’s another point of difference for France and England and why they both ‘destroyed’ Wales and we didn’t.
@Mark Kearney: good point. Lancaster was really hot on passing accuracy and that meant the majority of players coming into Ireland camp under him were on top of their skills. Connacht also playing attacking style since Lam. New Munster/Ulster coaches also emphasize ball handling. I think the change in style at Leinster is really having a big impact on IRL attack. Leinster players concentrate on chasing kicks and being aggressive in défense. Leinster’s attack has been really poor these last 2 seasons but their brilliant defense means they still win. Cc LRO game was case in point. Irelands last 2 6n’s were also built on solid defense btw. People like to praise the IRL attack but it’s our defence was the foundation of our attack. We conceded more tries this 6n’s than in the last 2 combined.
The key statistic is professional playing numbers. In Ireland, we have 180, France, and England have very many more. It’s probably 8 to 10 times more, especially in France. Long-term strategy is surely to have a fifth team probably off the island.
@D Farrell: agree, but we have what we have. We have to revert to having a point of difference, back to most of Joe’s time in Lein & Ireland, was passing. That you can do with existing structure, if you first accept there is an issue. I don’t think we do, and poor standards are accepted across the provinces. That’s on the coaches, and players wanting to improve.
@D Farrell: Wishful thinking, I fear. The revenue to support a 5th team does not exist. Frankly I doubt whether we have the revenue to support four. Especially if the growth of Women’s pro rugby is already acting like an additional province in terms of its financial impact
I haven’t gone back to check but I imagine what has been said (by both fans and media) about this Ireland team/players/coaches is nothing compared to what the French will have had to put up with when we did them last season. They didn’t go through a massive clean out, and I don’t think we need to either. The other provinces other than Leinster do need to pull their socks up though.
It’s no coincidence our attack faltered when Andy Farrell was away. I think it’s forgotten that he is heavily involved in Irelands innovative attack plays and his absence definitely affected this. Also it’s worth mentioning Catt started very poorly with Ireland and became instrumental in our brilliant attack over the last few years. Maybe Goodman needs time to bed in also
Being third in what many considered a two horse race can’t be considered a success .
However it reflects the approach of the Irish management based on defence . Both Irish wings selection and reputations based on their performance on a catch and kick game .
But teams have stopped kicking deep as blocking in front of the catcher is penalized and the objective is to ensure the ball is behind the defending pack . Thus the reason to pick paceless wings no longer exists .
As previously noted 9 of the 23 are over 30 whose best games are behind them .
I considered that this was last 6 nations for more than PoM Murray and Healy and the preference for Leinster Blue was undeserved by several players .
@SAMUEL T McGLADERY: Who do you think should have been picked on the wings instead of Hansen and Lowe?