A very good evening to all you happy (cold) football fans.

We’re very nearly ready for kick-off as both teams have finished their obligatory handshakes.

Mark Halsey is your referee for the day and here are the runners and riders that will be making the magic happen:

Reading: Federici, Cummings, Mariappa, Morrison, Shorey, Robson-Kanu, Leigertwood, Tabb, McAnuff, Le Fondre, Roberts.

Subs: Taylor, Pearce, Pogrebnyak, Hunt, McCleary, Guthrie, Harte.

Man Utd: Lindegaard, Da Silva, Ferdinand, Evans, Evra, Fletcher, Anderson, Carrick, Young, Rooney, van Persie.

Subs: De Gea, Jones, Giggs, Smalling, Hernandez, Welbeck, Cleverley.

Ryan Giggs amongst the subs for the visitors there, and ESPN point out that he is 15 years older than anyone else on that United bench.

KICK OFF: Reading get us underway at the Madejski Stadium and Jay Tabb wins his side a soft free kick out the left wing.

GOAL: Reading 1 – 0 Man United (Robson-Kanu ’8)

A cross from the left is butchered by Evans and it falls to Robson Kanu who thunders a left foot volley to the top corner.

So for the 14th time this season United fall behind, but being United ….

GOAL: Reading 1 -1 Manchester United (Anderson ‘ 13)

The Brazilian makes a darting run to the near post and from Young’s pass smashes a finish into Adam Federici’s near post.

PENALTY! Jay Tabb bundles over Jonny Evans and Wayne Rooney grabs the ball.

GOAL: Reading 1 – 2 Manchester United (Rooney pen ’16)

The striker’s corner was over hit, and Evans was first to get a touch as the ball headed out of the area. Tabb, for reasons known only to himself, barged into this back.

Rooney clinically side-footed the penalty to the bottom right corner. Federici going the wrong way.

GOAL! Reading 2 – 2 Manchester United (Le Fondre ’20)

This is ridiculous!

The striker finds himself unmarked inside the six-yard-box from a corner and powers a header down past Lindegaard.

Back to square one.

United are rattled, firmly on the back foot since that equaliser.

GOAL: Reading 3 – 2 Manchester United (Morrison ’23)

Incredible!

Another corner whipped in from the right and this time the Royals player is marked, but he out-jumps Jonny Evans and hammers the home side back into the lead.

This is absolutely surreal. Five goals in 25 minutes and the Madejski sounds only barely stirred.

The home side, by contrast, are brimming with confidence and are flying forward ar this brittle red defence at every opportunity.

Another set-piece coming … but this time the header is scrambled clear by Wayne Rooney a metre out from goal.

Ah, here!

GOAL! Reading 3 – 3 Manchester United (Rooney ’30)

United carve Reading open again and Young’s low cross finds the Boy Rooney’s right foot 10 yards out. Another low finish.

SUBSTITUTION: We thought Jonny Evans’ number was up, but Ferguson has given Rafael the shepherd’s crook.

He had been booked, but he is none too happy and refuses to take the coat given to him.

GOOOOOALLL! Reading 3 – 4 Manchester United (van Persie ’35)

Our eyes are glazing over here. Goals, goals, goals and very little else to report.

The seventh (seven!) of the game had a strong suspicion of offside as Rooney attempted to flick a pass on to RVP while he was behind the defensive line.

With no flag, the Dutchman was only too happy to set himself with the left, before rolling a right-footed finish beyond Federici.

Goal-line technology controversy ahoy! Van Persie shoots from close range before it is blocked and cleared away. However, replays show the whole ball is clearly over the line. Referee Mark Halsey waves play on.

Disappointing for Anderson, who has continued his recent good form here but has been forced off with an injury. Phil Jones takes his place.

And, before we forget amidst the glut of goals, it was Chris Smalling who replaced Rafael.

HALF TIME: Reading 3 – 4 Manchester United

We need a strong cup of tea after all that. Seven goals in an incredible opening half and it should have been eight.

Today is the first time in the Premier League era that United conceded three in the opening 25 minutes. Cause for optimism for the team who made the breakthrough, surely.

The second half is off an running, but only after RVP a right old go at Mark Halsey asking how he didn’t give him a second goal.

He did a cheeky little spectacle mime and everything.

Excuse us for the less frequent updates, folks. We’re having a few technical difficulties with ESPN.

We’ve been able to see enough od the game to work out that a Reading penalty claim – Jonny Evans the culprit again – has been the highlight of the second half. Halsey judging that the Irish defender poked the ball out for a corner rather than kick right through LeFondre.

Another chance for United and their criminally low intensity makes the chance go begging.

A cross from the left falls to Rooney, who elects not to shoot, but finds Fletcher in middle of the area and he attempts a back-heel which misses Van Persie and goes to Evra coming back from an offside position.

We never thought we’d say this before kick off, but this game really should have had nine goals.

Another questionable bit of ‘keeping from Federici as Van Persie closes him down while trying to control a backpass. The striker wins the 50-50 tackle, but chasing the ball left of the goal he balsts the left-foot strike wide of the near post.

Shorey’s set-piece delivery continues to make the united rear-guard very shaky indeed. Ferdinand, this time, does manage to head clear but you wouldn’t have much confidence in the visitors keeping Reading at three for the remaining 20 minutes.

Substitution: That’s the end of Van Persie’s day. He could well been claiming the match ball, but instead he’s taking Danny Welbeck’s jacket and a seat on the bench.

These United fans don’t let a grudge die easily, they can currently be heard singing: ‘Rafa’s cracking up.’

Fortunately for them, Anders Lindegaard hasn’t. A dangerous low shot from the left requires to grabs before he can call the ball his own, but he eventually gets the job done.

83 mins:  After the most tumultuous of first halves, the game would appear to be drawing to a relatively sedate end as the Premier League runners-up attempt to hold the Championship champions at arm’s length. They’re succeeding… for now.

United put a long overdue cohesive move together, but the ball winds up at the feet of Chris Smalling who blazes over a shot from 25 yards on the angle. Optimistic.

Three minutes of added time is signalled, but the home fans are already headed for the exit.

Here comes a corner, will the fans miss goal number eight?

Oooh, almost Shorey’s corner again found a target, but Morrison can only head into the ground and it bounces over the bar with a touch from Lindegaard.

The follow-up corner also finds Morrison, but this time his header flies straight over the bar and United will survive this absolutely bonkers encounter.

FULL TIME: Reading 3 – 4 Manchester United

So, pick the bones out of that one.

Seven goals, shoddy defending, penalty appeals, goal-line controversies, penalties. What more could a body ask for? Maybe to spread a littel action to the second half.

Minor gripes aside, that’s Reading’s third defeat on the trot while United extend their lead to three points at the League’s summit ahead of the pivotal Manchester derby next weekend.

Thanks for stopping by and having a gawk at all our goals. It was epic for a wee while there, but fizzled out.

Safe home.