As Whitesnake sang.. here I go again on my own.

I’m back from indoor soccer and a game in which the standard was slightly lower than Real v Barca last week.

We’re hoping that a game of football might break out after a week of a phoney war in Spain since.

Here’s your teams; I’m getting excited -

Barcelona: Valdes, Dani Alves, Mascherano, Pique, Puyol, Xavi, Busquets, Iniesta, Villa, Messi, Pedro.

Real Madrid: Casillas, Arbeloa, Carvalho, Albiol, Marcelo, Diarra, Alonso, Ronaldo, Kaka, Di Maria, Higuain.

This is probably the last time you’ll see 11 v 11 tonight.

So – as Delia Smith almost said – let’s be having you predictions.

There’s a small prize in my drawers (not a euphemism) for the right scoreline. Time of first red card may be needed as a tie-breaker.

We’re all looking forward to some actual football in a few moments time, but before we have kick-off – what do we think of Real Madrid’s accusations of racism today?

You can watch the footage of Busquets’ cupped-hand message for Marcelo here.

Trevor Welsh and Mark Lawrenson are in the gantry for TV3. I’ve grown to love those mad eejits.

Trev tells us they’ve had thunder and lightening over Las Ramblas today as we…. kick off.

Our man in Madrid Garreth Nunn tweets: “No hugs exchanged in the tunnel tonight. Very serious faces.”

There was no hugs at Croke Park before the Thunder and Lightening final of 1939 either of course.

Marcelo has an early foray into the box and really should’ve backed himself – as the rugby players say – with a shot on goal.

It’s been a lively opening with Real looking like they realise they have to attack this time around.

Andy Mitten has tweeted this picture of the Camp Nou just before kick-off. Pretty good I guess.

If you read Paul Ring’s preview this morning you’ll know what that means:

“THEY KNOW HOW to do them in Barca, and tonight they have prepared this.

The text reads “Thank you, team” and not “Thank you, UEFA” which presumably Jose would think is appropriate.”

Barca have just taken the sting out of Real’s high-tempo start with their tika-taka routine now.

The visitors need to get that ball back and give it to Ronaldo who likes like he fancies running at the defence from wide.

First booking! those of you who went for Carvalho can take a biscuit.

Messi got on his bike from deep and drove at Jose’ lieutenant. Typically enough the Portuguese tripped Messi and found his name in the book for his first real tackle. It’ll be a long night now for Carvalho.

For the record, Lawro thinks Messi made the most of it and minutes earlier he said Pedro feigned getting his right leg hacked. He’s in a funny mood.

The Times’ Matt Dickenson is evidently sitting further down the media area from Andy Mitten. Every journalist in the press box must’ve had the iPhones out at kick-off.

Lassana Diarra makes a really important tackle on Messi who was again driving through the centre with the ball at his feet.

He’s playing with ‘Lass’ on his back. I’d love if he was transfered to Newcastle this summer.

My buddy met Arbeloa in a Liverpool nightclub and he wouldn’t say hello. End of communication.

Gonzalo Higuain was flagged for offside there after he took delivery of a diagonal ball from his Argentina team-mate Di Maria. It’s a homer of a decision, I reckon.

Better from Real.

Free header there Ted. Messi won a corner and Busquets arrived late but nodded straight into the arms of my pal Casillas.

I do wonder where Jose Mourinho is now/what he’s wearing.

Paul Ring tweets: “At what point do we think Jose will switch over to Law and Order?”

The TV3 lads reckon he’s ‘down the road’ in the hotel and he’ll be ‘getting on the phone’ soon.

Carvalho leaves Messi  prostrate again and then pulls him across the turf like you see mother’s drag screaming kids up supermarket aisles.

He’d want to be careful.

Casillas was forced into a full-stretch save from Messi. David Villa made good progress down the left and when the Barca cavalry eventually arrived he squared for the No 10.

Lawro says Casillas could’ve ‘thrown his cap on it’ and it was a ‘photographer’s save’. He refuses to be impressed by anything tonight.

Two brilliant chances for Barcal; first, Messi drops his shoulder and engineers half and yard of space – but he drags theball wide.

Then he and Villa break and it’s the Spanish striker who forces an excellent one-handed save from his international team-mate.

Real are under a lot of pressure here.

Valdes put away his pipe, slippers and Angry Birds for a moment to cut out a daisy-cutting cross meant for Higuain.

I don’t know, in the grand scheme of things, if Real will be happy with 0-0 at half-time despite all Barca’s pressure.

Jesus, Barca carved them open there.

Villa was flagged for offside in what was the final pass of a lovely move from Barca. We had an Iniesta back-flick, a Xavi slide-rule pass and a Villa run off the shoulder.

In the meantime, Carvalho has once again gone through Messi for a short-cut. Someone run that man a bath.

HALF-TIME Barcelona 0 Real Madrid (2-0 on agg)

Lot of questions: Is that a good scoreline for Jose? Is the tie over at this stage? Would I make it to the chipper and back in time for the second half?

Let me know what you think.

Opta Jose tells us:

“0 – Real Madrid shots in the first half, vs eight for Barcelona. Blank”

What in the blue hell is this trailer on TV3? ‘Priest’?

Paul Bettany as some kind of vampire curate that knows karate? We’re six months away from monkey boxing.

James Horncastle tweets: “Is this the moment (referee) De Bleeckere walks into the Real Madrid dressing room, pulls off a mask, reveals himself to be Mourinho and laughs?”

Seriously though, if Real do somehow to win this tie expect Jose to parachute in á la the Milk Tray Man and do the biggest slide in the Camp Nou puddles.

Mind games alert: Real have been standing in position for maybe two minutes and there’s no sign of the home side.

Okay.. here they come. We’re good to go.

Some dude runs onto the pitch. He’s rugby tackled by a dozen high-vis stewards.

It’s probably not Jose.

NO GOAL! Higuain  puts the ball past Valdes after a strong run from Ronaldo but the ref calls it back for a foul. Looked soft to me but there isn’t much protestation.

Former Everton and Chelsea man Pat Nevin is a man with an eclectic, sophisticated taste in music we know. But he’s spitting old skool lyrics on Five Live:  ’the rain in Spain falls mainly on the game’, he says.

It is tipping down now but I’m not sure if Barcelona’s on the plain.

It looks like the pitch invader was the notorious Jimmy Jump.

Kudos to Chad Ochocinco of the NFL and Niall Kelly of the seat beside me in the office for the spot.

GOAL! (Barcelona 1 Real Madrid 0 Pedro 53′) That is all she wrote. Jose might as well order the extra channels in his hotel room and ring down for a BLT.

The goal? Iniesta delivered a typically wonderful pass inside for his Spain teammate and Pedro dispatched.

Adebayor is on and is already acting the complete goat despite his new sensible haircut.

Expect a few red cards now.

You can watch that goal below hopefully. Someone should write a theorem on that pass form Iniesta.

GOAL – Barcelona 1 Real Madrid 1 , Marcelo 63′

It’s getting a bit stretched here – could the tie be alive again?

The equaliser came when Di Maria cut in from the left and hit the post before he eventually squared it for Marcelo cleverly. The full back knocked it in.

That 1-1 – which was predicted in the comments below – looks a good ‘un.

I didn’t mention it earlier because I presumed I mis-heard but Trev has again said that the Europa League final in two weeks’ time is the ‘biggest football match ever on Irish soil’.

That’s nonsense, right?

Here’s that Marcelo goal. It’s not unlike an indoor soccer assist from Di Maria: lash it at goal and when it rebounds, square for the other guy.

Barca are just keeping the ball again. I think we all want to see another Real goal just to make it interesting in the final moments of this, the final, El Clasico.

Marcelo’s booked for a silly tackle on Messi in the corner that causes a bit of fuss.

OptaFranz offers us this tidbit on the full-back’s equaliser: “Marcelo’s goal was also Real Madrid’s 1st shot on target. Clinical.”

NUTMEG! Messi makes a fool out of Marcelo. Beautiful.

(Marcelo then gets back to make a good tackle.)

Pedro’s booked for lunge on Diarra. Anyone who was at the home leg of the Ireland-France play-off a couple of years ago – and remembers the midfielder’s ungracious behaviour- will forgive the Barca man this one.

Adebayor is booked for trying to take the shirt off Messi’s back five minutes before the final whistle.

He’ll now miss the fina… never mind.

Barcelona are playing down the clock and clearly were the better team over the two legs.

But this disallowed goal from Higuain – for an apparent trip on Mascherano – may be a turning point.

Puyol is off. Eric Abidal is on.

And after his recent, serious liver operation, he’s treated to a rousing reception. That’s spine-tingling.

FULL TIME Barcelona 1 Real Madrid 1 (Barca win 3-1 on agg)

Barcelona is given – I think the technical term is – the birthday bumps by his teammates.

Ronaldo heads for the tunnel; I like to think for a good cry.

Barcelona are ‘the best team we’ve ever seen’ says Martin Keown.

High praise for a man who played with Morrow, Bould and Eddie McGoldrick.*

*He was also a pivotal member of The Invincibles.

BOD speaks!

Brian O’Driscoll is unimpressed by the behaviour from the soccer lads: “Embarrassing theatrical carry on of some of those Barca/Real players. Mascherano the biggest clown of all.”

He’s not wrong there.

I’m not one for stats usually but this is amazing. Again from Opta: “2494 – Over the 5 Clasicos this season, Barcelona completed 2494 passes more than Real Madrid:”

Jose and his staff in the Real situation room find the game pretty horrific viewing.

Via Paul Ring and Bearded Genius

Okay, I’m definitely not going to the chipper on my way home. Whoever leaves last, turn off the lights and put the spare key under the usual plant pot.

Here’s the highlights. Come back tomorrow for more of the same – with added Michael Carrick crab impression.