JIMMY’S WINNING MATCHES — but Lar’s winning jackpots.

Ok ok, we know that Tipperary All-Star hurler Lar Corbett has denied winning a share of Wednesday’s €10m+ Lotto jackpot but a) of course he’d say that and b) we want to write this post anyway.

Lar’s not even in the country — he flew out to New York yesterday to help the GPA Breezy Point reconstruction project. It’s a pity really because if we could pick any city to be in when we discovered a few extra zeroes in the bank account, it would be NYC.

Guess if you’re ever back there and you do actually win the Lotto, Lar, you can thank us for doing your homework for you. (Said thanks is best expressed in financial form, FYI.)

1. Book a suite in the Plaza, order a mountain-load of ice cream from room service, and dive in

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2. Buy that Brooklyn Nets courtside seat next to Jay-Z and Beyoncé

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3. If that’s not a runner, maybe just give Mrs Z a few quid to sing the national anthem

She’s daycent when she’s not lip-syncing.

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4. Buy a case of Ciroc and take a bubble bath with Puff Daddy

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5. Take the girls out shopping

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6. Hit up Warren Buffett for some investment advice

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7. See if Derek Jeter’s Manhattan pad is back on the market again

[Business Insider]

8. If all else fails, just buy an Irish bar

Stick a few of these on the wall and you’ll be laughing.

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Star Tipperary hurler Lar Corbett denies he’s part of Lotto-winning syndicate