David Sneyd

AFTER LISTENING TO just some of the stories from Irish players, coaches, managers and parents currently navigating their way through the English game, there was a mixture of jealously, sympathy and admiration for the nature of their lives.

Survival in your career and happiness at the end of it is worth more than any trophy or medal you could possibly wish to lay your hands on.

The glow of glory quickly fades if all you are left with at the end are memories which have no bearing on your future.

It is a sport – and life – where the contradictions and hypocrisies that have become firmly established truths of the game really do help to explain why coming to terms with such pretences are vital if longevity is to be achieved.

You must be a team player yet always aware that you are there to look out for number one.

Take the example of Paddy Madden, Stockport County’s captain and 32-year-old striker looking to help fire them into League One at the end of this season.

He has been in England since 2011, playing for five different clubs.

No one in Coolock, where he is from in north Dublin, would have ever grown up longing to play for the likes of Carlisle United, Yeovil Town, Scunthorpe United or Fleetwood Town.

But once you enter that world you soon realise that being capable of doing so – for more than a decade in his case – is more than most could ever wish to dream of.

To be capable of achieving what Madden has, it seems as though you must compartmentalise those aspects of what it is to belong to a successful team while nurturing that selfishness for the good of your own stability.

“It’s hard. It’s one of those jobs where, don’t get me wrong, I’ll have a pint with a lot of lads if I saw them. Football is weird. You don’t get too close to people because it could affect you,” he explained.

“You could become best mates with someone and they could move to the other end of the country or something. You’re not going to see each other then.”

When his partner threw a surprise 30th birthday for him scores of past and present teammates turned up. “But would I spend a lot of time with them? No. It’s just the nature of it. it’s one of them jobs where you have to stay focused to be able to achieve.”

And yet, Madden was the last player to leave the training ground on the Friday afternoon The42 spent in Stockport last week.

He was playing pool and throwing darts with various staff members.

Ask anyone around the club – like player welfare officer Matt Janesn – and they will speak of the man who helps bring others together, drives standards and creates and environment where they feel a sense of belonging.

But – and this is not just related to Madden – there may always need to be that invisible wall that is impossible to penetrate, because if it was to be broken down the resilience it’s protecting may also be damaged beyond repair.

The42 watched Stoke City beat Reading 4-0 the following afternoon, and there were four Irish players in action.

Two veterans for the visitors – 36-year-old Shane Long and 30-year-old Jeff Hendrick – and a pair of on-loan midfielders with Stoke City from Premier League clubs.

What Will Smallbone (Southampton) and Gavin Kilkenny (Bournemouth) would do to have the same longevity.

The young duo had very different days, the latter left out of the matchday squad while his fellow Ireland U-21 graduate scored a lovely goal in front of senior international manager Stephen Kenny.

Theirs is a friendship that has been strengthened by the shared experience of the last number of months, but they have also had separate existences, both living with their respective girlfriends.

“There is a togetherness and a bond, and you never know when might see these lads again,” Smallbone admitted, in relation to progressing through the Ireland ranks with a core group who are now ineligible for U21 duty and embarking on their senior careers.

Gavin Hodge, father of Wolves midfielder Joe, explained to The42 over a coffee that once you are part of the football system – beginning with pre-academies, joining the main academy and then fighting for that first professional contract – it is difficult to simply reintegrate into society when the inevitable happens and a second deal is not forthcoming.

Even though his son joined another Premier League club from City and last week signed a four-and-a-half-year contract, it didn’t detract from his awareness of the perilous nature of his son’s profession.

There was a sense coming away from England’s north west that even though days can be long and tiresome – how often have we heard the tale of boredom leading to someone’s downfall – there is a relentlessness to the existence that is even more draining.

One of the lines which stuck in the head from Kilkenny was that he didn’t want to be forgotten because of his injury.

It can happen quickly.

Football is a kind of storm which you need to stay in the eye of, and somehow try to keep your feet on the ground.