GEMMA O’CONNOR CAN only describe the last few weeks and months as a whirlwind.

It takes a bit of time, and some over-and-back, to get hold of the Cork camogie legend, and any wonder? Between her work with the Defence Forces, the release of her book ‘Why Not A Warrior?’ and everything that goes along with such, and the usual hustle and bustle in the run-up to Christmas, it’s completely understandable. She’s unnecessarily apologetic about the chase, but it’s worth it.

O’Connor lights up a typically dark and dreary December evening from the second we start chatting over the phone. You almost feel you know her all your life.

That she has laid everything bare in her autobiography — written with The42‘s Sinéad Farrell — certainly helps, the nine-time All-Ireland winner and 11-time All-Star giving an open and honest account of her life and journey through sport. But it very nearly didn’t happen, she admits.

O’Connor ideally wanted “fade into the background”, like the vast majority of Gaelic games players, after announcing her inter-county retirement in 2021.

But she’s very much in the spotlight now, and deservedly so.

“When I eventually agreed to do the book and it’s out there, I didn’t know what to expect,” she concedes. “I’ll be honest, there were probably times where I wanted to pull out of it — and not for any particular reason.

“The overall factor in thinking that way was kind of like, ‘Am I exposing too much about my life? Is this really me?’ I’m not the sort of person that talks about my career in that way.

“But then, I’ve been playing a long time and it’s an opportunity to put camogie out there, talk about my career and then obviously enough, an opportunity to talk about my personal life and my experiences. If it helps anybody along the way… and that was probably the main reason in doing it — putting myself aside, to help others really. That was the big deciding factor in why I did the book in the end.”

Despite what many may think at first glance, it’s not a book solely about camogie, or sport. It’s about life. It’s about family. It’s a story of love and loss.

That’s something O’Connor is keen to emphasise: don’t judge it by its cover. If you pick it up, you’ll see a steely Gemma O’Connor in her Cork gear. Hurl — or hurley for those that way inclined — in one hand, the O’Duffy Cup in the other.

It’s far from all camogie. A warrior, in every sense of the word.

“It’s broad view on my life as a player, as an athlete, and what goes on off the field. What happened behind closed doors in terms of family, my sexuality and things like that. It’s not just about sport, it’s about life in general. It’s a 360 view on my life really and it’s just putting it out there that there’s more to the player than what people see.”

O'Connor with her family - brother, Glenn, late mother, Geraldine, and father, Dónal. Gemma O'Connor. Gemma O'Connor.

She opens up eloquently about her sexuality, her wife Aoife Ní Chrualaoí and their journey to this point. The Sunday Independent carried an extract entitled, ‘It’s exhausting to live in fear, worrying that someone might figure you out … every day,’ in October, which captures that subject matter perfectly.

It’s not something O’Connor has shied away from in the past few years and it was important to touch on, but again, it’s just one facet of her life.

“Anybody that knows me, always knows me to be me, and my sexuality goes with that. It’s not something that I’ve always said: ‘I’m Gemma O’Connor and I’m gay.’ It was always just a part of me, part of my life.

“I never had any issues talking about that side of my life, so to talk about my sexuality, that wasn’t particularly difficult. I obviously had to think about the actual real personal side of it, Aoife, and exposing that side to your relationship, because they’re things that mean a lot to me.”

Family is the common thread which runs through all. Her late mother Geraldine, her father Dónal, and brother Glenn all feature prominently: mundane life, the more serious parts, and sport. It’s family above all else, the central pillars.

Geraldine passed away in 2015 at the age of just 55, a little over a year after being diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. Gemma had spoken about her and their close relationship before, most notably with The42 in 2017, but to be able to write at such length and relive as many special memories as possible was paramount.

Poignant at times, a laugh at others, but always pure.

“People that do know me know that I was very close to my mother, but just to write about it in such detail and describe, too, her whole journey through cancer… sometimes people who don’t know what goes on behind the scenes forget about that side of it. Obviously it is very painful, but it’s extremely emotional, it’s heartbreaking and unfortunately, look, life goes on. You just have to live without them. But she’s been a massive part of my life.

“It wasn’t easy to do, but will certainly help at least one person going through the same thing. “You hear the word ‘cancer’ every day. You hear there’s a new form of it, there never seems to be a stop to it. Most families have been touched by it. It’s a horrible disease, and to watch somebody that you love go through it, it’s heartbreaking. It’s important to acknowledge it as well, and sometimes, to acknowledge life is tough.”

Geraldine O'Connor receives an All-Star award on behalf of her daughter Gemma in 2007. Lorraine O'Sullivan / INPHO Lorraine O'Sullivan / INPHO / INPHO

One person who has been by her side through it all is her brother, Glenn, ironically named after Glen Rovers by Geraldine. They turned out to be a big St Finbarr’s family, both siblings representing them through the years.

The Barrs ended a end 29-year wait for Cork hurling glory a few months back, Glenn finally getting his hands on a county championship medal. A dual player — Gemma could have been too, but turned down an invite from the late, great Eamonn Ryan to join the all-conquering Cork ladies footballers — he represented Cork at underage level, but 16 October 2022 is a date which will be remembered by the O’Connors for years to come.

“I thought we’d never see him get a county medal. This year has been absolutely brilliant and I’m delighted for him that he’s finally got to do that.

“Look, GAA in our household is massive, and we have a great relationship. We’re, I suppose, each other’s critics when we play as well. We have no bother saying to one another, ‘Look, you didn’t have such a good game,’ or, ‘Maybe you could have done this a bit better’. But no look, we have a fantastic friendship. We’re lucky.”

To be there that day to see it in the flesh was extra special, their commitments often clashing through the years and not always allowing them to support — and critique — one another on the biggest stage.

“To see the county final this year in the absolute torrentials of rain, but it didn’t matter. It was just absolute joy, pure joy for the club.”

St Finbarr's celebrate their 2022 success. Ken Sutton / INPHO Ken Sutton / INPHO / INPHO

There was no shortage of those joyous occasions for O’Connor through her own illustrious career. There was a fair share of heartache too, of course, but that’s the nature of sport. There can only be one winner.

“Nothing ever stays too long in camogie. That’s why it’s very hard to win a double or to do the three in-a-row, it’s not done very rarely. But you’re talking about Kilkenny, Cork, Galway — there’s only four or five points between the three of them. The rivalry is huge, but the Kilkenny-Cork rivalry, I don’t think will ever stop.”

Keeping with the theme of rivalry but respect, O’Connor also writes about the “abrasive” relationship she shared with Paudie and Aoife Murray on the field of play.

Paudie was manager for a big chunk of O’Connor’s Cork career, steering the ship from 2011 to 2021, while his sister Aoife was goalkeeper. The long-serving pair of players were the best of friends — though best of enemies at times — even sharing an All-Ireland eve tradition of a glass of wine in the team hotel to unwind before the battle which lay ahead.

But once they crossed the white line, that was that.

“I suppose we’re all a bit similar,” O’Connor laughs. “We’re all a bit fiery, we’re all very competitive, we all want the one thing. When you have a clash on a combination of people, it produces great things but it also produces that people probably get on each other’s nerves.

“We’re all trying to do the right thing, but when you’ve got strong personalities, people are vocal. I think it’s important. Myself and Murr [Aoife], we’d have no bother having it out on the pitch, but not once ever did it ever carry off the pitch. I think that’s really important. That was really important for our friendship. We knew where we stood with each other and what we could do on the pitch, that it didn’t necessarily affect this off the pitch. We still remain very good friends.

“In terms of Paudie, I had no bother voicing an opinion but I obviously had to do it in a respectful way. At the end of the day, he’s the manager, he makes the calls. I suppose my whole point in this is if you’re a player — especially if you’re a player playing for some time — it’s important that if you have an opinion or an idea or want to say something that you’re vocal. Everyone’s opinion matters, and at the end of the day, you’re a player, you should voice what you want to say but obviously do it in a constructive way. It’s all about feeding into the team really at the end of the day.”

Aoife Murray introduces O'Connor to President Michael D Higgins ahead of the 2018 All-Ireland final. Bryan Keane / INPHO Bryan Keane / INPHO / INPHO

That runs clear throughout the book, too. Always about the team, never about her.

But how she writes about the art of defending, and approaching her station at centre-half back, is interesting.

Parallels can be drawn with her career in the Defence Forces — the death of Private Sean Rooney occurred in Lebanon in the days after we speak, a tragic incident which would have really hit home with O’Connor — but that’s not something she realised in hindsight.

“In work, we try to present ourselves as best as we can. The way you tog out, the way you hold yourself, conducting the presence, I think that sets the tone off straightaway. I think everything else follows then your attitude on the pitch. It’s just something that I just had, but I probably developed through my job.”

So the big question as we finish up. What’s next for Gemma O’Connor?

She remains in touch with inter-county camogie and interested in its progress — “You’d like to see that it’s going in the right direction, but it’s still very slow” — while, as of now, she’s still a club player. There’s a definite future in the game for her and she’s interested in staying involved, while balancing work commitments and what not else. 

“I haven’t made a decision club-wise,” she concludes. “I wasn’t sure about going back last year. I went back, pretty disappointed the way things finished up. We’ve a great team but we can’t seem to get over the final hurdle of the semi-finals for some reason.

“I would love to finish off with a county medal, but again, that’s not a given. I have to make a decision whether I’m going to be playing club next year or not. If I do, it’s certainly going to be my last year.

“After that, I definitely would love to be getting involved in coaching, or at some level down the line, be it club and county. I’m hoping — I obviously want to stay involved in the game as much as I can.”

The whirlwind continues.