IT’S THE LAST weekend before that long-awaited monthly pay day for many of us.

The final stretch of a dry January for others.

If there was ever a time to curl up on the couch with the very last of the tin of Roses and a duvet, it’s this. Here’s all the sport you can look forward to, fellow losers.

• One sit in for: They say a stopped clock is right twice a day. Sometimes, Sky Sports’ Super Sunday tag fits too – Arsenal v Manchester United follows Man City v Spurs. Woof!
• One to Sky-plus: The American Football baby! If your other half insists on watching Heartbeat of a Sunday (is that still on?), you need to record what are essentially, the Superbowl semi-finals.
• One to skip: I love a bit of cycling as much as the next man – but staying up all night to watch it from Australia? Not for me, Sean.

Today

Cricket: Test from Dubai, Pakistan v England, (Sky Sports 1, 6am); ODI, South Africa v Sri Lanka, (Sky Sports 2, 12.25pm).

Cycling: Tour Down Under, stage five, (Sky Sports 4, midnight, Sat).

Football: Bundesliga, Borussia Moenchengladbach v Bayern Munich, (ESPN, 7.15pm).

Golf: Volvo Golf Champions, (Sky Sports 3, 11am); Humana Challenge from California, (Sky Sports 3, 8pm).

Rugby: Heineken Cup, Connacht v Harlequins, (Sky Sports 1, 7.30pm).

Snooker: The Masters, (BBC2, 12.30pm, Eurosport, 7pm).

Tennis: Australian Open, (Eurosport, 7.45am, midnight, Sat).

Munster face Northampton on Saturday in their final Heineken Cup group match. Pic: INPHO/Dan Sheridan

Tomorrow

Boxing: British Heavyweight title eliminator, David Price v John McDermott, (Sky Sports 1, 8pm).

Cricket: Test from Dubai, Pakistan v England, (Sky Sports 1, 6am).

Cycling: Tour Down Under, (Sky Sports 4, 2am, Sun).

Football: Barclays Premier League, Norwich v Chelsea, (Sky Sports 2, 12.30pm), Sunderland v Swansea, (Setanta Ireland, 2.30pm), Bolton v Liverpool, (ESPN, 4.30pm); Premier Soccer Saturday, (RTÉ Two, 8pm); Clydesdale Bank Premier League, St Mirren v Celtic, (ESPN, 11.45am); npower League One, Huddersfield v Brentford, (Sky Sports 2, 5pm); African Nations Cup, Equatorial Guinea v Libya, Senegal v Zambia, (Eurosport, 6.15pm, 8.55pm); Primera Division, TBC, (Sky Sports 4, 6.55pm, 9pm); Serie A, Atalanta v Juventus, (Setanta Ireland, 7.40pm, ESPN, 7.45pm).

Golf: Volvo Golf Champions, (Sky Sports 3, 11am); Humana Challenge from California, (Sky Sports 3, 9pm).

Horse racing: Channel 4 Racing, (Channel 4, 1.55pm).

Rugby: Heineken Cup, Leinster v Montpellier, Leicester v Aironi, Northampton v Munster, (Sky Sports 1, 1pm).

Snooker: The Masters semi-finals, (BBC1, Eurosport 1pm, BBC2, 4.30pm, 8pm).

Tennis: Australian Open, (Eurosport, 8am, midnight, Sun).

SUNDAY

American Football: NFL AFC Conference Championship, Baltimore Ravens at the New England Patriots; NFC Conference Championship match, New York Giants at the San Francisco 49ers, (Sky Sports 2, 7.30pm).

Cricket: ODI, South Africa v Sri Lanka, (Sky Sports 4, 7.55am).

Football: Barclays Premier League, Manchester City v Tottenham, Arsenal v Manchester United, (Sky Sports 1, noon); Premier Soccer Sunday, (RTÉ Two, 8pm); Serie A, Bologna v Parma, Novara v AC Milan, Inter Milan v Lazio, (ESPN 11.30am, 1.45pm, 7.15pm); African Nations Cup, Ivory Coast v Sudan, (Eurosport, 4pm); Bundesliga, TBC, (ESPN, 4.15pm); Primera Division, TBC, (Sky Sports 1, 6.55pm).

Hopefully this will happen again… but a little to the left…

YouTube credit: mrjadelhage

Golf: Volvo Golf Champions, (Sky Sports 3, 11am); Humana Challenge from California, (Sky Sports 3, 9pm).

Rugby: Heineken Cup, Treviso v Saracens, Cardiff Blues v Racing Metro, (Sky Sports 2, 12.30pm).

Snooker: The Masters final, (BBC2 1.50pm, 8pm, Eurosport, 8pm).

Tennis: Australian Open, (Eurosport 7.45am, midnight, Mon).

The YouTube top 10: because you’re the best around, no-one’s ever gonna keep you down