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Ruby Walsh and Hurricane Fly are among the star attractions at this year's festival. Dan Sheridan/INPHO

Confused by Cheltenham? Here’s how you can bluff your way through this year's festival

If you can’t tell Ruby Walsh from Ruby Wax, we’re here to help.

OVER THE NEXT week, talk of Cheltenham will be impossible to avoid. That’s well and good if you’re mad about horse-racing but what if you’re more likely to stick a pin in a newspaper than put a score on a horse at ‘Burlington Bertie’? Or if you just want to make small talk in the office while you’re waiting for your porridge in the microwave?

We’re here to help, so here are the basics you’ll need to bluff your way through any awkward moments. And if all else fails, just mumble something about “being off the bridle” and make a hasty exit…

It’s only horse-racing. What’s so special about it?

Yes, yes, yes. It’s only horse-racing but it’s the biggest and best horse-racing of the year. The four-day Cheltenham Festival (Tuesday – Friday) is the highlight of the National Hunt calendar which means you’re pretty much guaranteed to see almost all of the best horses in action. For owners and trainers, it’s the meeting they’ve been preparing for all year. For fans, especially the thousands of Irish ones who travel over, it’s as good as it gets.

Sounds good. How many races are there?

There are 28 in total, seven each day. Racing starts at 1.30pm each day and the races are usually scheduled at 35-minute intervals, meaning that the final race starts at about 5.15pm.

For pedants — There are technically only six races on Thursday, the St. Patrick’s Derby charity race in aid of Cancer Research UK isn’t officially part of the festival.

I’m not watching 27 races. When are the important ones on?

If you’re too busy to watch the lot — and let’s face it, most people are — you’ll want to focus your attention on the festival’s four feature races: the Champion Hurdle (Tuesday), the Queen Mother Champion Chase (Wednesday), the World Hurdle (Thursday), and the Cheltenham Gold Cup (Friday). These start at 3.20pm each day, so you may want to tailor your lunch breaks accordingly.

I haven’t the first clue about the horses. Who are the ones to look out for?

There are lots of theories as to what makes a sure thing but the reality is — one or two exceptions aside — there’s very rarely a sure thing in National Hunt racing.

Despite missing the likes of Cue Card, Simonsig, Sir des Champs and Sprinter Sacre; there are still plenty of good horses to look out for. On Tuesday everybody is going to be talking about five-time winner Quevega in the OLBG Mares’ Hurdle, while the brilliant Hurricane Fly will look to claim the Champion Hurdle for the third time.

The absence of Sprinter Sacre in the Queen Mother Champion Chase means Sire De Grugy will likely start as heavy favourite though Captain Conan can’t be ignored.

The main event on Thursday, the World Hurdle, features Annie Power and Big Bucks in a mouthwatering head-to-head while, on Friday, everyone will be talking about the Gold Cup. Bob’s Worth and Silviniaco Conti will likely battle it out for favouritism but the inclusion of the Philip Fenton trained Last Instalment can’t be overlooked in a very competitive market.

I think I’ll just look for whoever Ruby Walsh is riding. Will that work?

It’s not a bad tactic. Ruby loves Cheltenham and Cheltenham loves Ruby — look out for the annual “Ruby Tuesday” headlines if he has a handful of winners on the opening day. If he has another good week, it will be the eighth time in 11 years Walsh will finish the festival as top jockey.

Show some love for the other Irish jockeys as well, particularly Barry Geraghty , Tony McCoy and Bryan Cooper who announced himself on the National Hunt stage at last year’s festival with three wins.

Give me five stats I can use to impress people…

  • 14 – The record number of winners Ireland had at last year’s festival.
  • €4,612,395 – The amount of prize money on offer over the four days.
  • 10,000 – The number of Irish fans who attended each day last year.
  • €180.8m – The amount gambled on the Cheltenham festival annually.
  • 236,472 – The number of pints of Guinness consumed at last year’s festival.

A version of this article first appeared here.

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