THE JANUARY TRANSFER window is wide open, and who better to guide us through the latest wheelin’ and dealin’s than ‘Arry himself.

Just don’t use the words wheelin’ or dealin’, alright?

Odegaarded Welcome: Real Madrid have signed Norwegian prodigy Martin Odegaard from Stromsgodset. The 16-year old is said to be in line for a cool £80,000 a week despite being likely to start his career in Spain with Real Madrid B.

Cuadradone deal? It looks like Juan Cuadrado will join Chelsea sooner rather than later for nearly £30 million as the Blues prepare to offload either Mohamed Salah or Andre Schürrle this month.

Zaza voom: Juventus are reportedly ready to exercise their buyback option and bring Simone Zaza to Turin by the end of the transfer window. The 23-year-old has seven goals in 14 Serie A games for Sassuolo and is very, very talented.

Knocking on the Dorrans: Burnley now face stiff competition from Fulham in the race to sign West Brom midfielder Graham Dorrans. The 27-year-old, who has been told he can leave the Midlands club, is said to favour remaining in the Premier League.

Paulista maybe not happening: While Arsene Wenger says a deal is 50% completed for the highly rated Villarreal defender Gabriel Paulista, he criticised the work permit rules which are set to complicate the transfer.

Fletch Ham: Manchester United are set to offload Darren Fletcher in this window with the midfielder setting his sights on Valencia. However, it appears Upton Park is a more likely destination for the Scot.

Swoop: Chelsea hope to beat Manchester United to the signing of Paul Pogba with the Premier League leaders lining-up a player-plus-cash deal worth over £40 million.

A Marquinhos signing: Speaking of United, they’ve been told they must stump up more than €110 million if they want to sign PSG Brazil youngster Marquinhos.

Walcott: Henry & Bergkamp? Arsenal have better attackers now

Mourinho: I’ll be sad to see Gerrard go… maybe I’ll loan him!