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The desperate fan's guide to landing an All-Ireland final ticket

Text everyone in your phonebook and share every competition post on Facebook. Then read this.

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Pic: INPHO/Cathal Noonan

IT’S ALL-IRELAND final week, you’re looking for a ticket and about now you’re starting to get a little bit panicky, right?

Never fear, we got your back.

1. Barter any livestock you have available

Like this gentleman on DoneDeal.

After the semi-final win, you sent out the feelers to friends and relatives around the country, made a rare appearance up at the club, text a former girlfriend whose dad was county Board secretary in the 80s… and then sat back to wait for the tickets to roll in.

It’s around the time now to start swapping animals for tickets.

One ‘strong mouth black ewe’ is surely worth a spot on the Hill this Sunday?

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Pic: DoneDeal

2. Go with your heart

Don’t be afraid to take risks; this Mayo supporter just wants the girl of his dreams — a woman with an All-Ireland final ticket.

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Pic credit: Terry Reilly, via Joe.ie

3. Again, livestock is important

If there’s any way you can use images of cattle in the county colours or other such gimmicks, all the better. This Mayo fan has gone for a picture of his hens and a pun-heavy sign too which is important:

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4. Ring your local TD

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Pic: INPHO/James Crombie

5. Make a YouTube video explaining why the universe owes you a ticket

It gets the people going.

YouTube: Eannai O Sullivan·

6. Trade your sister and/or brother

All’s fair in love and getting into Croke Park this weekend apparently…

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Pic: Balls

7. Stand outside Quinn’s or the Big Tree with a ball of cash

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Pic: WikipediaCommons

Don’t overthink it. You don’t have a friend in the world at this stage. the only thing that’s going to get you through that turnstile at 3pm is pure economics.

What are your tips for getting an All-Ireland ticket this week?

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