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The desperate fan's guide to landing an All-Ireland final ticket

Text everyone in your phonebook and share every competition post on Facebook. Then read this.

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Pic: INPHO/Cathal Noonan

ITโ€™S ALL-IRELAND final week, youโ€™re looking for a ticket and about now youโ€™re starting to get a little bit panicky, right?

Never fear, we got your back.

1. Barter any livestock you have available

Like this gentleman on DoneDeal.

After the semi-final win, you sent out the feelers to friends and relatives around the country, made a rare appearance up at the club, text a former girlfriend whose dad was county Board secretary in the 80sโ€ฆ and then sat back to wait for the tickets to roll in.

Itโ€™s around the time now to start swapping animals for tickets.

One โ€˜strong mouth black eweโ€™ is surely worth a spot on the Hill this Sunday?

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Pic: DoneDeal

2. Go with your heart

Donโ€™t be afraid to take risks; this Mayo supporter just wants the girl of his dreams โ€” a woman with an All-Ireland final ticket.

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Pic credit: Terry Reilly, via Joe.ie

3. Again, livestock is important

If thereโ€™s any way you can use images of cattle in the county colours or other such gimmicks, all the better. This Mayo fan has gone for a picture of his hens and a pun-heavy sign too which is important:

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4. Ring your local TD

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Pic: INPHO/James Crombie

5. Make a YouTube video explaining why the universe owes you a ticket

It gets the people going.

YouTube: Eannai O Sullivanยท

6. Trade your sister and/or brother

Allโ€™s fair in love and getting into Croke Park this weekend apparentlyโ€ฆ

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Pic: Balls

7. Stand outside Quinnโ€™s or the Big Tree with a ball of cash

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Pic: WikipediaCommons

Donโ€™t overthink it. You donโ€™t have a friend in the world at this stage. the only thing thatโ€™s going to get you through that turnstile at 3pm is pure economics.

What are your tips for getting an All-Ireland ticket this week?

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5 Comments
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    Mute Martin Quinn
    Favourite Martin Quinn
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    Sep 26th 2019, 9:30 PM

    He needs a break from Injury :: he has such poetical so we all hope this is a good year for him โ€ฆโ€ฆ

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