1. Keep a close eye on the time

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2. But don’t forget to watch out for scary, scary balloons

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3. Make sure you have a hobby in your spare time

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4. Don’t be afraid to tell the noisy neighbours exactly what you think

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5. Keep up to date with ‘yoof’ culture

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6. Be intensely loyal to your friends

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7. But show them the door once they’re no longer needed/wearing pants

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8. Injury can strike at any time when you reach this age

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9. But it shouldn’t stop you from helping to clean around the ground

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10. Chew all of the chewing gum during a game

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11. And enjoy a nice glass of red afterwards

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12. Take losing really, really badly

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13. But win so often it doesn’t really matter

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14. Most importantly, be the best at what you do for as long as you can do it

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