7.40pm As a confused Ian Rush said in Italian on his arrival after signing for Juventus: welcome!

I’m just back from indoor soccer (won 4-3 FYI) so settle in for sweaty, heavy-breathing session of top Champions League football.

Our improved software has that plasticy, new smell so please wipe your feet. You don’t even have to hit refresh.

7.44pm Here’s your line-ups ladies and gentlemen – it looks like a tasty night ahead, I must say:

Real Madrid: Casillas, Sergio Ramos, Pepe, Carvalho, Marcelo, Di Maria, Alonso, Ozil, Khedira, Adebayor, Ronaldo.

Subs: Adan, Kaka, Diarra, Granero, Arbeloa, Garay, Higuain.

Tottenham: Gomes, Corluka, Gallas, Dawson, Assou-Ekotto, Lennon, Sandro, Modric, Bale, Van der Vaart, Crouch.

Subs: Cudicini, Huddlestone, Jenas, Pavlyuchenko, Defoe, Bassong, Kranjcar.

Referee: Felix Brych (Germany)

7.49pm We’re up-and-running – Ronaldo, inevitably, gets the first shot away. He’s going to score at some stage right? It flies wide from 20 yards this time though.

While someone runs off to get the ball here’s the teams in Milan.

Inter Milan: Julio Cesar, Maicon, Ranocchia, Chivu, Zanetti, Stankovic, Motta, Sneijder, Cambiasso, Eto’o, Milito.

Subs: Castellazzi, Cordoba, Kharja, Mariga, Materazzi, Pandev, Nagatomo.

Schalke 04: Neuer, Uchida, Matip, Howedes, Sarpei, Farfan, Papadopoulos, Jurado, Baumjohann, Raul, Edu.

Subs: Schober, Escudero, Plestan, Hao, Schmitz, Karimi, Draxler.

Referee: Martin Atkinson (England)

GOAL! Former Gunner Adebayor after four minutes. Stankovic put Inter one-up after a minute at the San Siro.

7.59pm We’re having some technical difficulties here: think Sam Fox and Mick Fleetwood at the VMAs.

I can tell you that the goal from Real was from an unmarked header past Heurelo Gomes.

I’m going to turn the computer off now. And then on again.

GOAL! Inter Milan 1-1 Schalke 04 (Matip) This could be a corker.

Check our Inter’s goal:

szólj hozzá: Int 1-0 Sch

CROUCH SENT OFF! That is ridiculous.

Already on a yellow he hurled himself feet first at Marcelo despite having no realistic of winning the ball.

On the bright side, it’s set up for a famous comeback should they concede a few more.

And to think they were worried about the lanky one in Madrid.

I forgot to mention – as I ripped the wrapping paper off our new liveblogging software – that you can get in contact in the usual ways.

Email sport@thescore.ie, Facebook us, tweet or just plain send a postcard. We just like getting things in the post.

“3 – Spurs have picked up three red cards in the Champions League this season, more than any other side. Mountain.” Thank you OptaJoe.

Apologies for that, we’ve been having a few technical issues but I think we’re all sorted now. Niall’s gonna take over for the next few minutes while I have a breather. That five-a-side really took it out of me.

Spurs are living a charmed existence here at the moment. Ramos did excellently to stoop and redirect the bobbling ball with his head, but it just loops up and over Adebayor’s head at the back post. That could have been two.

GOAL! Inter Milan 2-1 Schalke 04 All of the goals seem to be coming at the San Siro. My buddy Diego Milito puts the hosts back in front.

Here’s that ridiculous tackle by Crouch. The words “rush”, “blood”, and “head” spring to mind. Silly boy.

Ronaldo is lining up a free about thirty yards out, pretty much dead-centre … and it ends up in about Row M. Not quite all the way in the rafters, but still.

Huge shout for a penalty by the Bernabeu fans, and I think they may have a point. Dawson threw himself at Di Maria’s shot which cannoned back off his hands which were not by his side. Peno for me anyway

GOAL! Inter Milan 2-2 Schalke 04 (Edu) I’m definitely watching the wrong game. If Schalke can come out of their trip to the San Siro with a high-scoring draw, they’ll be laughing

Our referee tonight Mr. Brych is doing a decent enough job, despite the fact that the Real fans are waving their white handkerchiefs in his face. The Madrid players are going down in the box at ever possible opportunity, but he’s having none of it.

Half-Time:  Real Madrid 1-0 Tottenham Hotspur That’s it for the moment. ‘Arry will be happy enough when he stops to reflect for a second I’d imagine. Bad as tonight is, it could be a whole lot worse for Spurs.

Half-Time: Inter Milan 2-2 Schalke 04 And it’s half-time in Italy as well. Leaky defences galore at the San Siro – did anybody expect anything else from a game involving Leonardo and Inter?

So, how are we all feeling after the opening 45? Send us in your half-time analysis – it’s bound to be better than TV3. Vincent Bickerstaff agrees with that sentiment at least. He had this to say earlier: “Can you please get onto TV3 to get the coverage the Champions League deserves.. or just hand it back to RTÉ….. drive you to watch it on the internet.”

SkySports are showing a montage of Crouch’s involvement, set to Thru The Glass by Thirteen Sisters. The lyrics are “you got us into this, now get us out of this,” which indicates a pretty fundamental misunderstanding of how red cards work.

‘Arry’s making a change for the second-half – Defoe on for van der Vaart, who didn’t seem to be 100% in that first-half. Still an 85% Rafa van der Vaart isn’t a bad player to have in your side. At least it looks like Spurs aren’t going to park the bus for the next 45 minutes. Brave move.

We’re underway again in Spain and Milan.

There’s a guy playing for Madrid called Cristiano something? Didn’t catch his name but he wears number seven and looks a useful sort. The Spurs defence stand off him for a half-second and he takes the opportunity to rifle one into Gomes’ side-netting from 20 yards out.

Madrid are just toying with Spurs here, knocking the ball around the edge of the box, essentially trying to walk it into the goal. To be fair to Spurs, they’re solid at the back, getting men behind the ball and defending resolutely. Surely they can’t keep that up for another 38 minutes, can they?

GOAL! Inter Milan 2-3 Schalke 04 Guess who, Real fans? Yup, Raul has put the visitors 3-2 up and Inter are struggling ever so slightly.

GOAL! Real Madrid 2-0 Tottenham (Adebayor) That was all too easy for Real and it’s that man Adebayor who doubles their advantage.

Marcelo jinked into a bit of space on the left of the box before floating one into the middle. Gallas found himself marking two men, one of whom was the big man from Togo, and he jumped highest to nod the ball past Gomes. What now?

GOAL! Inter Milan 2-4 Schalke 04 (Ranocchia o.g.) Oh dear, oh dear. Things go from bad to worse in the San Siro. Adrian’s back in the hotseat in a minute, he’ll take you through to the grand finale. Sit tight, sports fans.

Okay, I’m back – had to leg it home when the world of technology conspired against me in TheScore’s office.

Imagine a night in which you put Frank Spencer in charge of liveblogging. Or Leonardo – Chivu has now been sent off for Inter.

Have you seen Edu’s goal?

Ray Wilkins seems to be annoying a lot of people, if the Twitter machine is anything to go by, as Vincent Browne would say crossly.

I’m watching on TV3 – hopefully Trevor Welsh will tell us ‘they’ll be dancing on the streets of Real’ later on.

GOAL! Di Maria – what a strike.

Real 3 Spurs 0 The Argentine cut in from the right and arrowed a shot into the top corner on his left foot.

The Bernebau is in full voice now, if it wasn’t already. Adebayor has earned a standing ovation as he is replaced.

What do we think Spurs fans?

Inter 2 Schalke 5 As ‘the kids’ say these days OMG. The German side have only gone and scored. Farfan knocked one off the post before Edu converted again.

This is bizzarro Serie defending. Kaka’s on for Real too – not a bad sub to have, you have to say.

A stat from our colleagues at ITV (as Billo would say): Real Madrid are (as you’d expect with an extra man) dominating possession with 69% – 80% of that played in Spurs half.

My favourite sprinter after Bolt and possibly Akabusi, Ailís McSweeney tweets: “May as well have watched Champions League tonight instead of following @thescore_ie and pretending to study!”

As with a lot of what women say to me, I’m not sure if it’s a compliment to be honest. But I’m going to take it as such. Follow her: @AilisMc

Let’s play Un’Appy ‘Arry post-match excuses bingo. I expect the words bare-bones, inexperienced, lanky, freak, Nintendo Wii.

GOAL! Real 4 Spurs 0 Ronaldo gets that goal we all expected to come. Kaka’s lays it up for a volley and the Portuguese duly dispatches under a flailing Gomes.

The game at Stoke is now huge because Christian Bale’s Batman couldn’t save them now, never mind Gareth Bale.

Eleven goals in two games tonight. I’m not sure what that says about this year’s Champions League. I get the feeling there won’t be so many tomorrow night.

There’s three minutes of added time in Madrid.

FULL-TIME Real Madrid 4 Tottenham Hotspur 0 ‘Four nil is a good result for Tottenham’ says Tony Cascarino.

Crouch will have to fold himself into an Easyjet seat and make his own way home I think.

FULL TIME Inter Milan 2 Schalke 5 What a result. The champions were thought a lesson by the German side, but I wouldn’t bet against them making it interesting in Gelsenkirchen.

Cas and Martin Keown can’t understand why Bale was left on the pitch as he was hobbled with cramp. Harry will have to explain that one.

Here’s that killer Di Maria goal. On a general note, can I just say I think he’s great.

Okay, that didnt embed for some reason – opening night jitters on the first night with the new software. But it’s worth a copy and paste.

Michael Dawson looks like he just watched The Human Centepide: “To give the first two goals away in the way we did we have to look at ourselves and be disappointed.

“Going down to 10 men didn’t help things against such a top quality side and we gave them a helping hand. We have to go away and pick ourselves up be ready for the next game.”

Crouch’s dismissal and Adebayor’s early goals were important but how unsettling was Aaron Lennon’s late, late withdrawal? The BBC report that the official reason for his abscene was…. a sore throat.

Surely you have some honey and a Strepsil if you’re playing Madrid?

Okay guess who said this in the past few moments: “This is not even close to being done, we have seen some great comebacks and we have to be ready. They will push us from the first minute and we must be careful. We needed to be patient tonight and as soon as we got the second they were down and it was easier to get the third and fourth.”

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone? That’s right – Xabi Alonso. The former Anfield favourite remembers Istanbul. I wonder if Kaka does.

Okay, that’s your lot. It’s been a miserable night for you Spurs fans out there while the game at the San Siro was memorable.

Niall will be liveblogging the games tomorrow night and we’ll ave your usual stuff from tomorrow morning. Thanks for sticking with us through some technical difficulties. Note to self: tea on keyboard is not good.