Hello sirs, madams and young grubbers eager on following Leinster’s antics at the RDS tonight. We are live and ticking with coffee and a selection of biscuits to keep us amused until kick-off.

Let’s start you off with the teams then get some predictions off you.

Leinster: I Nacewa; A Conway, G D’Arcy, A Goodman, F McFadden; J Sexton, E Reddan; H van der Merwe, S Cronin, M Bent; L Cullen (capt), D Browne; K McLaughlin, R Ruddock, S O’Brien.

Replacements: A Dundon, C Healy, M Ross, T Denton, J Murphy, I Boss, I Madigan, F Carr.

Treviso: R Trevisan, L Sarto, G Garcia (capt), M Pratichetti, S Sinoti; D Halangahu, T Tepaldi. M Aguero, C Festuccia, D Ryan; Q Geldenhuys, J Sole; N Cattina, M Bergamasco, F Cristiano.

Replacements: D Giazzon, A De Marchi, C Fazzari, E Caffini, N Belardo, A Chillon, D Odiete, P Buso.

Ok, poll time. Not to be totally disrespectful to Zebre but if Leinster do not get a win then we are living in an alternate universe where human beings answer you phone queries.

How much will Leinster win by?

The crowd is sparse at the RDS but perhaps the Leinster patrons are buying up some hot whiskies. I wish I could join them but I’m a semi-professional and I’m off to Fermanagh after the match [and post-match insights].

Zebre out first and the Black Eyed Peas show no signs of bogging off the sound system.

Fionn Carr talking in the match programme about wanting to start in the Heineken Cup for Leinster. Perhaps Joe Schmidt is resting him for Clermont. Perhaps not.

Kick-off and Bent has taken his first contact in Leinster blue. He does well but the ball is eventually knocked forward. Zebre scrum.

Zebre chip in behind and press the Leinster defence but are penalised for holding onto the ball at the ruck and the home side clear. Garcia does well down the right and the good Italian start continues.Van der Merwe gets whistled but Halangahu misses the penalty attempt.

McFadden is the next to knock on as he tries to rally his team by claiming a high ball. Good idea poorly executed. Zebre engage too early and the blues regain possession.

Will be interesting to see O’Brien at 8 tonight. One knock-on and one decent carry so far. Leinster on the attack now and a reverse Sexton pass almost gets Cronin in. Play comes right and D’Arcy floats one for McLaughlin and it really should be a try in the corner. The flanker, however, drops the pass and the chance is lost.

Jonny Sexton in Ireland form here. He drops the left shoulder and bursts inside his marker, beats another man and fires a tracer at the unmarked Nacewa on the right wing. The fullback looses his footing so can’t cross but Leinster retain possession and batter the Italian line. Solid defence though.

Sexton tries a repeat of the Leinster try against Scarlets with a crossfield chip but Nacewa can’t clutch it dear this time. Zebre claim their lineout and get a penalty in the process.

Genuine worry across the ground as Sean O’Brien receives treatment but he’s fit to continue. D’Arcy then bursts free and breaks 25 meteres. He is loving his new role at outside centre this evening.

The blue flags wave half-heartedly as Sexton’s penalty from right in front of the posts makes it Leinster 3-0 Zebre.

TRY! Fergus McFadden has almost scored the greatest try since the Welsh boyos were running them in from all angles. He pelts towards a high ball and snatches it on the run as it bounces awkwardly. He then spins his marker and hands off another opponent before finally getting dragged down on the 22. Play comes out to the right with the Italians in a tizzy and Conway races over in the corner. Great score. Sexton makes it even better with a superb conversion.

Leinster 10-0 Zebre after 31 minutes and it could have been more. Sexton breaks superbly again and just needs to slip McFadden in to score out left but his pass is over the winger’s head.

TMO but Sexton is not going to get this one. Bent and Goodman had direct darts at the Zebre defence before Sexton picked up and the base and stretched. Hold on! Another angle shows him touching it down. Confirmation of a TRY! The extras are added by the out-half so it is Leinster 17-0 Zebre

Sexton breaks the defensive line again but play is eventually halted for a forward pass by Nacewa and it is HALF-TIME

Good start for Zebre but nothing to show for it before Leinster cut loose. McFadden and Sexton the star men so far but Browne and Goodman have looked decent.

Leinster’s first try: Started by McFadden, finished by Conway. (©INPHO/Dan Sheridan)

MASCOT FIGHT! Leo the Leinster lion is knocking lumps out of a festive reindeer and getting acclaimed for it. That’s really not on at all. No sign of the Zebre zebra – stuck in quarantine is my guess.

Joe Schmidt has cleared a couple off his bench as Madigan and Murphy replace Sexton [job done] and O’Brien [questions about injury post-match].

So we are four minutes into the second-half and Zebre, once again, have started off better. Geldenhuys is back on after a sin-binning picked up late in the first half. Nacewa and McFadden trampled by Sarto but Leinster stall play before stealing the ball and clearing.

15,824 tickets sold for this match [including season ticket holders]. Might not be the full amount here for the action.

Sarto slices through the home defence again but he botches a two-on-one against Nacewa with a sloppy pass.

TRY! The good start is rewarded as Zebre scrum-half Tepaldi dives over to score. The TTMO had a look before confirming it. Cullen’s fault there as he hauled Tepaldi to by the collar but did not keep an eye after that. The number 9, on his knees, stretched over to get a valuable score for his team. Daniel Halangahu’s conversion makes it Leinster 17-7 Zebre with 51 minutes gone.

McFadden slots a 40 metres penalty to settle his side – it is Leinster 20-7 Zebre now. Clear indication, with Madigan on the pitch, that McFadden’s place kicking could be called upon when the Clermont games come up. Ross, Healy and Carr come into the fray.

Oops scratch Carr – Tom Denton is on. No possible way I could explain myself out of that mix-up – redhead meets platinum [possibly bottle-dyed] blonde.

Madigan almost snipes through before tossing up a gimme that D’Arcy spills with the tryline beckoning. Two tries still needed for the bonus point.

TRY! Madigan finds D’Arcy out wide. Two men grapple him but he still offloads to McFadden who races clear to touch down. After the ball-flinging celebrations, McFadden adds the conversion. Leinster 27-7 Zebre as Carr comes on for Nacewa.

Boss on for D’Arcy and a sliced Zebre clearance gives the home side field advantage. McLaughlin is almost the hero but can’t hold on whilst on the charge. Possession goes to Zebre but they kick it straight back and concede a penalty. 12 minutes on the clock so Madigan kicks for the corner.

TRY! They claim the lineout and pile forward. Healy picks and goes up the blindside with Reddan giving him a helpful shove. Two against sub De Marchi and he stands no chance. The Movember moustache is gone but Healy cares not a jot. McFadden misses the conversion but the bonus point is secure and the scoreboard reads Leinster 32-7 Zebre with eight minutes to go.

Rhys Ruddock breaks excellently and finds Boss, who jinks inside three times before finally getting clobbered to the ground. Leinster pressing for a fifth try late in the game.

TRY! No hat-trick yet but just give McFadden the match ball. Madigan’s skewed crossfield kick is picked off the grass by the left winger who burns his marker from a standing start to dive over in the corner. His conversion hits the post so the score is Leinster 37-7 Zebre.

That’s yer lot. The ball is hoofed into touch and that is FULL-TIME. Stay with us for Munster’s match and the ost-match reaction from the RDS.