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5 spoofy phrases that make the Ireland jersey sound like a high-tech spacecraft

It’s a jersey, lads. A jersey.

Dan Sheridan / INPHO Dan Sheridan / INPHO / INPHO

IRELAND’S NEW RUGBY World Cup jersey was launched today — and it looks pretty damn good.

But did you know that it’s “the most innovative and technically advanced rugby jersey ever worn by an Irish rugby team”?

We did, because it says so in the press release.

What does that even mean?!

Here are some of the promised features. Please remember that we’re talking about a jersey which, to quote a member of The42 team, is a “glorified t-shirt.”

reduced fabrication weight, minimising moisture absorption

ie you won’t get sweaty.

Developed through position-specific 3D body-mapping

Don’t look like Tommy Bowe? Don’t worry, you can still wear one.

Adaptive fabrication with dynamic heat management properties

Again with the sweatiness.

360° loop bound neckline with enhanced elasticity and shape retention

We’ve no idea why this would appeal to anyone.

the crest has been 3D injection moulded, developed through rapid prototyping technology

Huh?

In conclusion: it’s a nice jersey and it will cost you around €80.

Short sleeves optional to Batman-esque tech: The evolution of Irish Rugby World Cup jerseys

Author
Niall Kelly
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