A FEW WEEKS ago, we told you about George Hook’s forays into erotic fiction.
And this morning, he appeared on The Brendan O’Connor Show on RTÉ Radio 1 to have an innuendo-laden conversation with O’Connor about his planned erotic novel.
Hook revealed that he’s a third of the way through the book, which centres around a character named Geoff, and said that he is planning on writing a trilogy.
And the plot doesn’t sound familiar at all.
It’s all in a radio station owned by an eccentric billionaire. One of the presenters – fat, old, balding radio presenter - is coming near the end of his life and he looks back.
After much chat and innuendo — including a reference to “finishing up very quickly” that appeared to go over Hook’s head – Hook treated listeners to two excerpts from his novel.
Both were prefaced with warnings from O’Connor that they were not suitable for “little ears” and frankly they’re barely suitable for adult eyes, but here were are.
Here are 9 of the most groan-worthy lines from the book.
1. “One thing dominated his thinking since that first erection in the outside toilet of the tenement block he inhabited with four other families.”
2. “Other boys dreamed of fame and fortune, he dreamed of women. God, how he loved them.”
3. “It wasn’t the act, but the chase, the victory, the heap of clothes on the floor, that gave him pleasure. “
4. “Joanie, the new night nurse, was his kind of girl. She was a size 16 and the white starched uniform struggled to hold her magnificent Double D breasts. “
5. “Last night when she bent over him to fluff his pillows, he had a glimpse of her little girls.”
6. “She was in five-inch heels and there was a slash of red on the lovely mouth that opened to mutter the immortal words, ‘Time for your injections, Geoff.’”
7. ”He groaned.”
8. “Slowly and deliberately, she unbuttoned the first four buttons and he saw the wondrous orbs.”
9. “And then, the objects of his imagination fell loose.”
Little girls, wondrous orbs…
Well done, George.
You’ve managed to leave us speechless.
By Amy O’Connor. Originally published on DailyEdge.ie.
Should have won the All ireland last season. More than likely will this season all things being equal.
@Ray Ridge: St Thomas showed the way to beat them. Nullify Philip Mahony in the game and you beat ballygunner. Seemingly their backline is getting on in age, and appears they haven’t really blooded any new backs onto their team over the last five years. Could be found wanting come Munster championship if they beat Abbeyside next week
@v5OTKkXN: The frees won it for Thomas’s. Of which several were of the soft nature. Granted, munster will be hard won. Some very good teams in it. Na piarsaigh to name just one.
@Ray Ridge: a score is a score whether from a placed ball or from play. Frees are winning most matches these days. Whoever comes out of Limerick will have a big say this year. Those extra few weeks for the county stars to be back with clubs will make a big difference
@v5OTKkXN: Thomas took a heavy beating in Galway championship tonight. Only second round of group games however.
@Ray Ridge: maybe I’ll be proved wrong but I don’t see them do two all irelands in a row. Ballyhale will be chomping at the bit in kk and Leinster this year
@v5OTKkXN: Thomas won’t be winning back to back all Irelands Jed. That’s a cert.
@Ray Ridge: who do ya think will reign in Galway this year?
@Ray Ridge: Ah tweedle dom and dee
@v5OTKkXN: I fancied Clarenbridge the last couple of seasons, but they didn’t deliver, but maybe with Donoghue back with them, they might do it this year. Loughrea, Turloughmore and of course Thomas’s are the obvious contenders.
@Ray Ridge: could you ever see the Galway champs go into Leinster club championship like the county team
@Square: talk about dumb and dumber.
@v5OTKkXN: There’s certainly an argument for it for. Would probably need to do the same with Antrim and Derry champions.
@Ray Ridge: I’d say as long as it remains a knockout championship both Galway champs and ulster teams would prefer it to remain the same, but if it became a round robin that might entice them to think differently
@Cian O: oh yes
@Square: goone full circle deep in there with CianO young man.
@v5OTKkXN: i like my liverpool fans
@Square: what about the small ball game fans? Which of them ya like?
Split Ballygunner in two for the love of the game!
@Mick O’K: was about to say split them into four
@Mick O’K: why
@David Jackman: there been talk that the club numbers are far exceeding the opportunities for players especially in underage teams. Could be a bit like when roanmore formed in the 70’s when they broke away from Mount Sion due to same reasons
Where is ballygunner
@Niall McCarthy: ballygunner is a townsland in eastern Waterford, ruled by the O Sullivan clan. That dynasty may be crumbling like the USA these days with the sending off last week of Shane O Sullivan and this week of Darragh O Sullivan. Their nephews thought, the O Mahonys may be the next rulers of the iron throne, with their cousins the Fitzgerald lad and the Foley lad as their henchmen. Time will tell
@v5OTKkXN: all of them a family a 6th or 7th generation from Ballygunner.
@David Jackman: would ballygunner be an old Viking settlement there in Waterford David? Would the old meaning Baiile mhic Gunnar be the town of the son of Gunner?