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Finally! The FIFA movie 'United Passions' debuts at Cannes

Tim Roth plays Sepp Blatter, Sam Neill is Joao Havelange with Gerard Depardieu as Jules Rimet.

LET’S BE HONEST. We’ve always wondered who’d play the key roles should Hollywood ever turn FIFA’s story into a Hollywood movie.

We’ve finally got our answer and it’s the best/worst thing we’ve seen in a while.

United Passions, which received its premiere at the Cannes Film Festival, focuses on the foundation of football’s governing body and charts its development through the decades.

It’s billed as a story about “a group of passionate European mavericks” joining forces on an ambitious project. Ahem…

United Passions / YouTube

Gerard Depardieu plays Jules Rimet, Sam Neill takes on the role of Joao Havelange while Tim Roth is Sepp Blatter.

Going by the trailer, history has been slightly re-written. Unsurprisingly, Blatter is portrayed as the guy FIFA turned to in an hour of need, a man “apparently good at finding money” who made the Adidas Tango ball a star, or something.

But why no mention of all those kickbacks Havelange took from ISL?

Costing a reported £19m to make, it’s alleged that FIFA put £16m towards it and that Blatter was very involved in the production.

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