HAVE YOU EVER just been typing away on Microsoft Word, thinking “Phwoar, that talking paper-clip is HOT”? There’s porn for that.
Yes – you can purchase Conquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story for just £1.99 on Amazon. What. A. Steal.
Here’s a glimpse at the plot:
Christie Aackerlund doesn’t need help with anything. So when the world’s biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artefact, all by herself, she’s all like “I’ll do it!”
But the artefact isn’t what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paper-clip is getting her all bent out of shape.
The description helpfully points out that the story features “sexual situations with digital assistants” and so is for “super mature audiences only”.
Yes. Very mature.
The author, Leonard Delaney, has form in erotica – previous titles include Mother F***ing Wizards (about sexual wizards), Taken by the Tetris Blocks (an erotic story about Tetris) and Sex Boat (about sex on a boat).
Conquered by Clippy is the next Fifty Shades of Grey. We’re calling it. You heard it here first, folks.
Thank you to Terri MacDonald for alerting us to this wonder
Could the journal not just say ” stalking “
@martin byrne: it’s a quote from the WTA statement.
What do they mean by “fixated behaviour”. Was he looking at her or what.
@Ray Ridge: rumour has it, he was playing a little bit of tennis with his own tennis balls. His serve was a master stroke, and Emma was his opponent
Why wasn’t he arrested instead of kicking him out.
@Papa Kilo: Without wishing to make light of a potentially serious situation, for what exactly? The bloke who walked 23 miles to knock on her front door on the other hand….
@Justin Robinson: I’m sure Emma knows when she is being stalked. There is no need to second guess her intuition. If she felt unsafe then that is enough.
@Phil McCabe: let’s hope we don’t start banging people up on “intuition”, or “how she felt”
Whatever terminology was used is pure semantics. The poor girl was obviously in a very distressed state and needs to be taken seriously. Some of the comments here give the impression she was over reacting. There are a lot of freaks out there whose behaviour is deliberately borderline, in order to create the impression that there isn’t really anything going on. This is a shockingly sinister development and needs to be treated as such.
@Dave Campbell: the cynics probably too young to remember the what happened to Monica Seles