SUCH WAS THE abuse that Conor Murray unfairly received in the wake of Ireland’s defeat to England in the Six Nations, he briefly considered just packing it all in.
It was only a fleeting thought but at that moment, the Limerick man understood exactly why Owen Farrell decided to step away from international rugby.
Like Murray, the England captain has been the target of relentless criticism and abuse.
Murray has been here before a couple of times but the biting nature of the messages last month came as a shock. All the more so because they centred around one brief moment in the game at Twickenham.
The pathetic people who bombarded Murray with direct messages on social media last month were obsessed with his box kick to touch late in the game. Despite it clearly being a collective decision driven by the Ireland coaches – one that was easy to understand – Murray was the target.
Ireland themselves were only concerned with the poor defensive set that followed, allowing England to grab the win with the last play of the game, but others remain obsessed about that kick.
“That clip didn’t even come up in the review, that’s how irrelevant it was,” says Murray.
“Genuinely, we’ve been around long enough to know how long you can hold onto the ball in your own 22, that was the right call. We’d do it again, it was what happened after.
“Chatting to Andy [Farrell], we had a giggle about it, it was wild. Unfortunately, that’s just the way the world is.”
Murray wasn’t laughing when he read the messages waiting for him after the game.
“Just abuse, really, just, ‘What the fuck are you doing kicking the ball away?’
“People who, in fairness, ‘support’ Ireland and are frustrated that we lost and they’re just looking for some way to vent and they see they can message you on Instagram.
“It was mad, but if I’d made a mistake or missed a tackle, you’d think, not fair enough, but you could see the reason for it. But genuinely, that kick didn’t come up in the review.”
Murray was taken aback by just how many messages flooded in. He only read a few, thought “fucking hell!” and clicked ‘delete all’.
He told some of his friends in Ireland camp just to make sure he hadn’t misread the situation.
“I was like, ‘Jesus, I’m getting serious heat here’ and they’re like, ‘About what?’
“And that genuinely the lads in the dressing room saying, ‘About what?’ and I told them and I knew but it was just nice to share that with your team-mates and your coaches and then just chat about it and it was like, ‘No, it’s irrelevant’.
“It’s irrelevant but it’s not right at some point.
“Some of the messages aren’t just aimed at you, they’re aimed at your family and stuff and you’re like, ‘Who’s writing these?’”
In no shock whatsoever, Murray says no one has been brave enough to say anything to him in person.
“Zero, it’s funny how that works,” he says with a wry smile. “I was ready for them after the England game if anyone came up to me!
“No, they don’t and that’s unfortunately the world we live in, and a lot of those messages were probably from profiles with fake pictures. It’s a tough part of being a professional athlete in this day and age.”
That’s the darker side but Murray still loves his job and loves being part of Irish rugby. That’s why he has signed a new one-year deal with Munster and the IRFU to cover next season.
Murray is coming off a central contract but his Munster deal is part-funded by the union in the latest indicator that he remains part of Farrell’s plans for Ireland. In fairness, that much was obvious from his four replacement appearances in the Six Nations. In the end, Murray was celebrating his fifth championship title and was happy with his contribution.
Lots of fans have retired Murray in their minds but he’s still valued by Farrell and is keen to keep playing on in red and green.
Murray is well aware of how some fans and pundits call for him to be moved on, but he knows that the people who matter most still rate him.
“The outside is very different from the inside in terms of how coaches see you or value you,” says Murray.
“That’s an easy narrative on the outside – ‘It’s a World Cup cycle and that age profile player is gone now.’ If you’re producing and are still an asset to the team or squad, then you keep going.
“I want to play rugby for as long as I can, it’s an unbelievable job and I’ve been really lucky to get to this age and still be feeling good and still be contributing to two squads.
“You just ignore it. The longer you’re around the more shit you hear from the outside, excuse my language. You really learn what’s important and what opinions matter. The longer you’re around, the more stuff you hear that’s complete nonsense and an easy narrative to go by.
“What matters is the conversations you have with your coaches, your fellow players and your family – they were a big part of it as well. Loads of things. Outside noise is very irrelevant. Especially the last few years, you realise what’s true really.”
Murray will turn 35 in two weeks but says there has been no obvious drop-off in his physical qualities. GPS and gym data mean there’s no hiding for players these days. If he was getting notably slower and weaker, the decision to keep playing would have been much trickier.
He reckons the experience of 116 Ireland caps and three Lions tours means he’s a calmer player now than a decade ago, capable of understanding what is and isn’t important during a game. There aren’t many situations he hasn’t seen before on the pitch.
Given his experience, it wasn’t hard to imagine Murray heading abroad for a new adventure somewhere like France or Japan and he says he “looked at loads of options” again before agreeing his new one-year deal in Ireland.
But it made sense to stay where he is, on and off the pitch. He and his wife, Joanna, are happy here and Murray’s parents, Gerry and Barbara, are still loving being part of his rugby journey.
“I wasn’t telling her much and she was worried that we might go elsewhere so she’s delighted, she can go to Thomond,” says Murray of his mother.
“It’s part of the decision as well, do you know what I mean? They’ve been there the whole way through, ups and downs and the whole lot so, yeah she’s delighted she has another year at least in Thomond.”
And that’s the thing – Murray isn’t thinking that next season will be his last. Who knows what’s around the corner in rugby but he wants to keep playing for as long as he can.
His next target with Ireland is playing a big part in the “exciting” two-Test tour of South Africa in July, while Munster have a huge game against Northampton tomorrow.
Murray will hope to make a big contribution off the bench on his 186th appearance for the province.
“Huge game, huge game,” he says.
“Going over there now, it’s a huge challenge but I think we can take confidence from what we’ve done in the last year and in glimpses of what we’ve done this year.
“I think if we manage to put it all together, or close to it, we’ll have a good shot.”
Off with his hand!