INTERNATIONAL RUGBY IS back at last. Here’s a dozen and one things you’ll definitely see this weekend – whether you want to or not.
1. National stereotypes will be at their most stereotypical
Daffodils, Guinness, Kilts, accordions and whatever England are famous for (apart from the whole taking control of other countries thing) the pre-match promos will have it all.
Morgan Treacy / INPHO
Morgan Treacy / INPHO / INPHO
Note to TV scriptwriters: above you can see a South African man who lives and works in England drinking a pint of Guinness. We all enjoy the black stuff, not just Irish people!
2. You’ll stumble on a heap of people who are studious refereeing experts
Despite tuning in to watch their first rugby game since 18 October.
There’s only one deterrent for that lad shouting ‘ah REF’ every two minutes really.
3. We’ll be treated to at least 17 slow-mo clips of players running past pre-match pyrotechnics
Inpho / Billy Stickland
Inpho / Billy Stickland / Billy Stickland
If we know French live TV directors like we thing we do, they’ll want to cut away from the match as much as possible to show off their frame-per-second rate. Also, last year’s opener managed to make Sam Warburton like a WWE fan favourite…
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James Crombie / INPHO
James Crombie / INPHO / INPHO
…they’ve gotta make an effort to top that, right?
4. Half the country will be lost without George Hook on RTE
Sure who else can casually bring Strongbow and Winston Churchill into the conversation?
INPHO
INPHO
5. The other half will pretend not to miss the old chap
Morgan Treacy / INPHO
Morgan Treacy / INPHO / INPHO
6. This guy!
PRESSEYE / INPHO
PRESSEYE / INPHO / INPHO
Break out the brushes, there’s mid-match impressionist painting to be done. Paris, eh?
7. There will be Bagpipes
Saturday night in Edinburgh just would’nae be the same with-oot them.
Piping's hungry work y'know.
8. ‘French flair’ will be back in the lexicon (and not in an ironic way this time)
Bienvenue, Guy!
James Crombie / INPHO
James Crombie / INPHO / INPHO
9. By Sunday afternoon, the phrase ‘World Cup hangover’ will make your head hurt more than your actual hangover
10. ‘Warren-Ball’ will be the reason Wales win, or the reason they lose
This gameplan may only be applied in the pejorative sense.
David Davies
David Davies
11. Great big burly props will be reduced to a sniffling mess for their anthem
Don’t worry, Bull, we’ll not name any names.
Morgan Treacy / INPHO
Morgan Treacy / INPHO / INPHO
12. You’ll be/hear/read a person who gets extremely angry after just a few notes of Ireland’s Call
It’s not the best, sure, but most anthems aren’t.
Besides! It’s an inclusive anthem, lads, try to extend your arms, open your heart and and be inclusive.
Billy Stickland / INPHO
Billy Stickland / INPHO / INPHO
13. Though we’ll all be humming along to La Marseillaise, Flower of Scotland, Hen Wlad fy Nhadau and Il Canto degli Italiani
We might even sing a bit of ‘em if we can remember which words go where.
13 things you won't be able to sidestep this Six Nations weekend
INTERNATIONAL RUGBY IS back at last. Here’s a dozen and one things you’ll definitely see this weekend – whether you want to or not.
1. National stereotypes will be at their most stereotypical
Daffodils, Guinness, Kilts, accordions and whatever England are famous for (apart from the whole taking control of other countries thing) the pre-match promos will have it all.
Note to TV scriptwriters: above you can see a South African man who lives and works in England drinking a pint of Guinness. We all enjoy the black stuff, not just Irish people!
2. You’ll stumble on a heap of people who are studious refereeing experts
Despite tuning in to watch their first rugby game since 18 October.
There’s only one deterrent for that lad shouting ‘ah REF’ every two minutes really.
3. We’ll be treated to at least 17 slow-mo clips of players running past pre-match pyrotechnics
If we know French live TV directors like we thing we do, they’ll want to cut away from the match as much as possible to show off their frame-per-second rate. Also, last year’s opener managed to make Sam Warburton like a WWE fan favourite…
…they’ve gotta make an effort to top that, right?
4. Half the country will be lost without George Hook on RTE
Sure who else can casually bring Strongbow and Winston Churchill into the conversation?
5. The other half will pretend not to miss the old chap
6. This guy!
Break out the brushes, there’s mid-match impressionist painting to be done. Paris, eh?
7. There will be Bagpipes
Saturday night in Edinburgh just would’nae be the same with-oot them.
8. ‘French flair’ will be back in the lexicon (and not in an ironic way this time)
Bienvenue, Guy!
9. By Sunday afternoon, the phrase ‘World Cup hangover’ will make your head hurt more than your actual hangover
10. ‘Warren-Ball’ will be the reason Wales win, or the reason they lose
This gameplan may only be applied in the pejorative sense.
11. Great big burly props will be reduced to a sniffling mess for their anthem
Don’t worry, Bull, we’ll not name any names.
12. You’ll be/hear/read a person who gets extremely angry after just a few notes of Ireland’s Call
It’s not the best, sure, but most anthems aren’t.
Besides! It’s an inclusive anthem, lads, try to extend your arms, open your heart and and be inclusive.
13. Though we’ll all be humming along to La Marseillaise, Flower of Scotland, Hen Wlad fy Nhadau and Il Canto degli Italiani
We might even sing a bit of ‘em if we can remember which words go where.
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